Change is one of those words that has a really strange definition. I mean sure we know what it means. It apparently means “To cause to be different”, but what is its connotation ? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?
Sure life isn’t all black and white, but we human-beings need to define what we do. I know killing someone is bad. Stealing is bad (even Robin Hood knew that). I also know that helping an old lady cross the road is good (not that they always want help, something I have just learnt). But is change necessarily a positive thing ?
I’ve changed. I know I have, and in some cases I am so happy I have. I mean, I don’t want to be that spotty insecure girl I used to be. I know that I am more independent than I ever was and even though I am far from perfect, I am kinda proud of the person that I have become. I have come to realise through the years that there’s no point having regrets. People say you can’t change the past, and it’s true. You can’t. But you can remedy the past. Sooth old wounds and try again. I’ve made mistakes and some I don’t want to repair for many reasons : sometimes I don’t care any more, sometimes I don’t want to think about that time any more and sometimes because there is nothing you can do that will remedy the situation or the past. But what’s left is to try, at least if you want to.
So change has a positive aspect and a negative aspect.
I don’t want to bang on about it any longer, but travelling is in my opinion what truly makes people better. We meet different people and we strive to understand the other person or culture, sometimes we don’t succeed, sometimes we do. But in some aspects I don’t think it really matters as long as you try. I have some friends (and I have done this too) that insist on rehashing the past, going back again and again to a certain point or event. I suppose that it is important from time to time to talk about a particular point that may have been painful, but do we have to ? What I mean to say is that at some point, haven’t we said everything there is to say ? Even as a historian I know that you can twist and turn the past to understand every angle but that doesn’t help to understand that particular point. Sometimes stepping away from the past help us better understand the present (cf : change) but also helps us understand the past. I believe it’s called maturity (which is hurray a positive thing!)
I look back and wonder why I have done certain actions, but knowing the” why” doesn’t necessarily fix the pain someone has felt or could have felt. Understanding the “why” gives us a better idea or the issue, but doesn’t offer any answer.
At the moment I am looking back as well as forward not only to better myself but also to better understand how I can help others. I know that sounds pompous but I think change can only be positive if applied well. I want to do the best I can. I want to be someone not only I can be proud of but also the people I love. I study the past but I refuse to stay there all my life. Life is what you make it and changing for the best is an integral part of that.