Yes yes I know, it’s in French. I’ll translate. It means “a heart divided”. But what does it really mean to have a heart in more than one place? But not only two places… but two people?
Love. Say it really slowly to yourself. L-O-V-E. What is it? Sure we can look up a definition. But how does that really help us? But… as I am an extremely kind person, I shall go fetch a definition so we can thus compare it to one we will create… or rather I will give. As a disclamer, I think I should mention that I am not a doctor/sexologist/therapist but a simple human being who likes a good… perspective on things… or to talk to the unknown!
Anyway, back to our dictionary definition of “love” : Here is the Collins Online Dictionary’s Definition for your pleasure of course !
So… ladies and gentlemen… what does this exactly convey to us… the general public so to speak?
To me at least. Nothing. This doesn’t say anything about the passion and anguish one can feel for another person. It doesn’t talk about the absolute pain to see a loved one hurt… or the hours spent at their bedside if they are ill… or even the time and effort to find that perfect gift. We don’t learn anything either about the person.
What I find strange is that dictionaries give a general definition without saying stressing that a feeling, an emotion… is purely and utterly personal. That there are intensities of love and passion. That love is in fact different for everyone. Which is probably why all “good” psychologists tell us that “communication” is the best way to keep a relationship alive (for me sex I believe is enough… see previous blog posts!). But… in our day and age… while we all concentrate on buying, fucking and making money… what has happened to the day old quest for love? Now… we could say that rescuing maidens on ones horse is past its sell-by-date… and yeah sure, you’re right. I know…. but as I have already noticed… it’s not exactly as though internet dating is going to get us anywhere. If a guy isn’t upright asking for sex… he’s doing it slyly… or laying! Woo hoo! I’m not surprised that the 9th definition affiliates “love and sex” and the same thing! Ha! No wonder men say “I love you” so soon nowadays! We all know that love+sex is better…. than sex+sex… but… where is the love? (to parody the Black Eyes Peas!)
For those who don’t want anything corny. You have come to the right place. Because… I’m not the one who’s for long walks on the beach… pina coladas and music by Bryan Addams! No thank you! But I do understand the whole “heart divided”. What are we to do in a world… where we meet so many new people… new places… How can I have enough space to love the ones I want to love? I think… the only way to make at least a bit of space, is to forget the people you hate, have hurt you… or caused you pain in the past. No one needs to be reminded of personal pain. So… put that in the bin! Go… do it now!
Now that that’s done… we have to mention that there are different types of love… love for a parent, a friend… a lover (if you’re lucky!)… a pet… a place… a particular memory… Sometimes we get lost in ourselves… but I want to believe that I can share the love. Why should we have to regret that we may love more than one person? We should in fact be happy that we are lucky enough to love and have loved! Loving two people at once isn’t a crime! The crime… the crime if there was one would maybe to cause pain to the people that we do love! So let’s…. not divide our hearts just yet…. but in fact put all the pieces together… like a puzzle… and hope that they all fit together.
Love… is in my opinion the only emotion that is every single one we humans can in fact feel. Love causes anger, sadness, happiness… anguish… everything… so should we be celebrating this “all purpose” emotion? Yes… yes we should… because even if it can cause pain… the benefits are so much better. Love is a dangerous game of poker… but you keep n risking it all because… because you can sometimes win big. Real big. But maybe hold up on the bluffing… no one likes a lier in love!