I realised today what true love really is. Love is that utter feeling of dependance on one person. That realisation that your happiness depends on one person, and that isn’t right. For me, it’s a 60/40 thing. My happiness depends one others (including the person I love on a 60% mark, whereas 40% depends on me, and how I make myself happy. And I realised something today. That every time he does something not nice to me, I’m no long angry like I used to me, I’m just disappointed. Disappointed that he can treat me this way. It’s sad, because I know in my heart that I am the best thing that could ever happen to me. I know I would and could make him so happy, but I realise he doesn’t want me. I’m not the one he will ever care for, and he just doesn’t care. It breaks my heart because when I look at him, i can see the potential in him. I can see under the skin and see how amazing he truly is. But he can’t. He hates himself, and without saying it himself, he does not maybe hate me, he just doesn’t care. I am nothing to him.
I know he can no longer break my heart like he did before, but he makes my heart ache. It aches because it doesn’t know how much it can take anymore.
Lately, I will ask to see him, he says he will get back to me, but doesn’t. You can help but think, he doesn’t care, because if it really came down to it, if he wanted to see me, he would make it happen. So, since he doesn’t see me, it’s because he doesn’t want to. I love him more than air, but he sadly doesn’t care for me.