Category Archives: Alcohol

Punishment


I don’t believe in god, I’m more agnostic than anything at all. But I swear, someone somewhere is punishing me. The bells! The fucking church bells today are going crazy!

I stayed in last night. I ordered a pizza and a can of coke and thats it. I watched a documentary about an american serial killer and then a girlie movie (Eat, Pray, Love). You may be wondering that the serial killer documentary + girlie movie + pizza = weird combo, but I feel that for balance, you need to not subscribe to social and gender roles. So yes. I’m a girl. I like to wear make-up, put on pretty dresses and watch crappy movies about “finding love” and shit, but then I also like to dress in my trampy clothes, sit on a smelly rock and listen to people jamming around a fire, while holding a burning marshmallow. I also really enjoy doing boy things, like playing computer games and drinking (“sans” farts, that’s going too far for me, so is burping. It’s never funny). Except I’m really shit at all the new computer games. I really miss the ones on the SEGA or Dreamcast. I mean, you didn’t have to be good to play Street Fighter or Sonic, you just had to press loads of buttons and see what happened. I can’t fecking play the Wii. I can’t get that whole balancing thing. I wobble and fall off something, and I lose. Plus all the new games you have to get off your arse and dance, and punch or swat things. I though the point of computer games (at least when I was young) was to sit on your hungover arse, sipping diet coke and munching on Wotsits (it’s sad, that is something I really want for my birthday. I swear, I love moving to different countries and stuff (Canada hopefully in 2/3 years) but sometimes you miss the taste of things. I don’t even remember the taste of Wotsits. They probably are shit, but I just don’t remember how shit they are!).

Anyway, missions of the month is to redesign my friends band logo, I need to start that properly but I have been busy resigning my CV and redesigning my business cards (they are fucking wicked, I wish I could have created a hologram version, but I don’t have a 3D printer, but I swear, this is kind of a paper version of a hologram, and amazing because I made them, and I’m a great artist).

Ive also started a new Moleskine, I was planning on giving it to someone as a gift, but then I was like, nah who cares. I love my Moleskines. They are like my private little world. I mean, you get to pour out your thoughts into a little leather bound book, and when you look through it, it reminds you of a time and a place. I mean, I have tons of them already, hidden away in boxes. Some full of thoughts, some shopping lists, holiday notes, photos, etc but each one is individual. Private. It’s like a slice of your brain, that you hide away. No one ever gets to read them, because you feel like it’s that private. You may I suppose share it with that one special person. But that’s about it.

I need to get a pet. I kinda want either a small dog or a hairless cat. Everyone thinks hairless cats are horrible, but I think they are so weird and kinda stoic. Anyway, I can’t afford one anyway, coz they cost about one thousand euros, so unless I get one for my birthday (here’s hoping! Praying to god as we speak!) OR someone randomly is giving them away for free (very unlikely)… I have more chance of getting a HAIRY cat (although I prefer Dogs…).

I could always get a stick insect. But I feel as though we would not be able to interact very well together.

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Filed under Alcohol, bla bla bla, Culture, Friends, Goodbye, Happiness, Hello?, History

Artistic innit?


To be honest, I don’t really consider myself an artist… more like some knob who creates stuff no one cares about. I’m posting this one (for once, I never post on public sites my artwork), because it’s not very personal, and mr T is in it (not that he knows this of course). It’s an homage. I wanted him to be part of an art piece without him knowing, so now he is a published author too (except he won’t be paid, although, neither am I, so I think we’re equal… here’s hoping he didn’t copy right that photo… which as a by the by isn’t great quality (note to self tell him, if he ever talks to me again, how to use the adjustments on his camera) but who cares, he is part of it. Cool eh!? Even if you said no I wouldn’t give a rats ass.

Enjoy!

(p.s. The story talks a lot about booze. Just in case you thought I was an alcoholic, I just had the results of a blood test and my alcohol levels are good, and, YESSSSSSSS are low too. So screw you metabolism! I can drink like anyone’s business!)

 Hello Toulouse

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Filed under Alcohol, bla bla bla, Clichés, Comics, Culture, Europe, France, Friends, Games People Play, Happiness, Hello?, You

Lock, Stock and Two Pints Too Many


Okie dokes. Where to start today? Difficult I’ll admit. Well. It’s a beautiful and sunny day here, and it can only put a spring in your step and a smile on your face. But, I shall talk today about something darker… what happens when you drink that golden nectar we all call beer (or for me, cider).

Today will continue from the last two I believe, but I can assure you, will be the last on the subject. Why you may say? Ah ha, I suppose like every good fairy tale, it has an ending! But not surprisingly (well for moi at least) not the ending you would desire. But that ladies and gentleman is not a shock, I mean come on, this is Roxy, everyone best friend! The last to be picked for sport etc! But, hey I’m not sad about that, I suppose you get used to that kinda shite anyway.

So, I’m feeling lazy and tired of all the shit to do with life, so I’ll be brief. Some friends of mine and I decided to do a onesie night and visit a few bars. We had copious amounts of gin at my flat, then headed to town. Now, we were very very hammered, so I feel like this probably explains why I went bat-shit crazy after (which for the people that know me, know I don’t do stuff like this, so yeah. Not my usual self!). We spend about two hours in bar C, and we left because there was live music, and I’m afraid to say we did not enjoy it! We then decided to go to bar MP. Mistake my friends would say, I on the other hand think with hindsight this was the only way, because visibly he didn’t have the balls to tell me, and I don’t want to live in wonder land (what pisses me off, is that I didn’t think he was a shit, I mean sure, I knew the guy had baggage (don’t we all?) but I swear I didn’t think he was this much of a heartless git. You will understand after, but holy fuck, I would have loved to say my own damn face, but anyway…) so I suppose at least I was… sure of his intentions (which to clarify here, is to clearly fuck me, lie and lie again, so super dooper Roxy!).

Anyway, so we all walk in, you could hardly miss us, because… I was dressed as a skeleton, one of my mates was a rabbit and the other one the cookie monster… so yeah. It’s not like we could “blend in”. Everyone in the bar was clapping and stuff, so they thought it was funny. We ordered a few pints and sat down. T’s mates came over and said hello (oh yeah, I forgot to say, dickface, or Mr T, was already there, but I ignored him, because, well he’s a big boy, if he wants to say hello he can, I don’t bite.) We had a few laughs… etc etc… I turn my face, and he is literally eating this girls face. I swear to you, all class went out the window, bit… sad really, I mean… seriously I think we are all old enough to know that PDA is a bit sad. Anyway. So, you are wondering what is going through my mind. Ah ha!!!! Well I was like, holy fuck, the dick. Ok fine. At least he’s made his choice, but didn’t have the balls to tell me. Okie dokes. Fine. I shall just enjoy my night anyway.

This is why I’m not totally sad about the whole thing, is because I have friends who love me and will defend me. One of my greatest friends screams “OI, T YOU FUCKING CUNT” across the bar. God Knows if he heard but hot damn does that make you feel good! This is when it gets funny, funny for me, definitely not for him. Now, I’ll remind you, I have never EVER done this, but as I saw him go to the lavatory, I shout “Oi. Dick head.” He pops his head up, and acts… mmm a mix between, drunk, surprised… and shock? No wait… shy… yeah he really hasn’t got balls… never thought about that. Oh well, (that said I usually go for shy guys but hey, maybe I should change hey?) I then (now I have got his attention) to shout something along the lines of, you piece of shit go fuck yourself. I can’t say I remember anyway. He then shuffles off.

I didn’t realise one of his mates heard and asked my friend C, what was wrong with me, she gave him an abbreviated version. (I found out the next day that he wasn’t aware of anything, so I’m thinking they can’t be THAT close. Oops. He said to C something along the lines of, oh well that’s probably girl A (in other words… well he’s got so many girls begging to date him that he has to class them, plan A, plan B…). Now, for people who know me, I have big issues with myself, my family etc but fuck me if I am going to be made to feel like a worthless pile of crap because a guy thinks I’m not good enough for him. So, even though I would of course want to see him again and all that jazz, for respect for myself etc, I can’t. I just can’t. I just hope he finds happiness. Or at least learns not to treat women like shite (although who knows, he may have made a special exception for me and decided to treat JUST me like shit! Who knows).

The thing is, in all seriousness, I don’t wish him ill. I really hope, he sorts himself out, maybe see a Psychologist or something. He has deep rooted problems, he doesn’t seem happy. Now visibly, I wasn’t the girl to help him, but maybe someone else will… but falling into another relationship… would just be a band aid… you can’t be happy with someone if you can’t be happy with yourself. I can attest to that, because I know how much I hate myself. I know why I hate myself, and yet I get up every day and try to be ok. I put on my mask and smile. The thing is, he likes wallowing in his own mess, that he thinks he’s the only one who feels the way he does. That’s called despair, and all I can say, is that everyone feels like that once in a while. So who knows what adventure lies on the other side, but if you don’t try, you can’t find out. As for me, oh well, it’s a shame, I really like like him, but what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger (argh, did I just quote Kanye West? Well… it WAS an expression before he made a shitty song) So… I’ll put that down to experience, and hope that one day it’s my turn for a great guy and a super relationship… or whatever! Until then, I shall… paint, draw, drink, laugh and cry! xxx

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It’s no longer chicken soup for the soul ladies and gents…


It’s raspberry cheesecake and chilli chocolate muffins.

Not to out do Martha Stewart… after a day of boredom… i decided to bake… bake… and bake. Not great when you’re on a “diet”… I need to lose boob and tummy weight… even though everyone says I don’t need to (especially the boob section) but I suppose I just made that a but harder… in any case… I got a message from a friend a few days ago… asking how I was and if I wanted to meet up (in Toulouse) next week… But to be honest, I don’t know if I should. I mean, (and I am still confused about this part) after I left Stockholm, I got back to uni… and everything had changed. My guy friends just… “dropped” me. Why? I have… no idea… this guy (who I really liked… as a friend… and may I say… he tried to sleep with me a fair few times… not that THAT was going to happen) just decided… he didn’t want to be friends anymore… well to be more correct when after 3 months I still hadn’t gone for a drink with him, I asked him straight out why we had not seen each other… and he said “I don’t have the same desire to see as I did before”. Now, to be brutal… I was floored. We had never been uber close… but close enough to know each other pretty well…

So what did I do?

I got up, and made myself some new friends! Partied like a crazy person, worked hard and got over it.

So… why do I suddenly get this… request to “meet up for a drink it’s been ages”…? I have no idea… argh. Even I can’t try and psychoanalyse this shit. So I am going to have a slice of cheesecake, and a giant glass of wine… or diet coke… whatever I can get my hands on first.

If you want the recipes… here we go (at least something positive can come out of it) :

Baked Raspberry Cheesecake 

Ingredients

  • 8 digestive biscuits
  • 50g butter , melted
  • 600g cream cheese
  • 2 tbsp plain flour
  • 175g caster sugar
  • Vanilla extract
  • 2 eggs, plus 1 yolk
  • 142ml pot soured cream
  • 300g raspberries 
  • icing sugar

Method

  1. Heat the oven to 180C/fan 160C/gas 4. Crush 8 digestive biscuits in a food processor (or put in a plastic bag and bash with a rolling pin). Mix with 50g melted butter. Press into a 20cm springform tin and bake for 5 minutes, then cool.
  2. Beat 600g cream cheese with 2 tbsp flour, 175g caster sugar, a few drops of vanilla extract, 2 eggs, 1 yolk and a 142ml pot of soured cream until light and fluffy. Stir in 150g raspberries and pour into the tin. Bake for 40 minutes and then check, it should be set but slightly wobbly in the centre. Leave in the tin to cool.
  3. Using the remaining 150g raspberries, keep a few for the top and put the rest in a pan with 1 tbsp icing sugar. Heat until juicy and then squash with a fork. Push through a sieve. Serve the cheesecake with the raspberry sauce and raspberries.

Dark Chocolate and Chilli Cupcakes

Ingredients

  • Chocolate cupcakes :
  • 175g (6 oz) unsalted butter, softened
  • 140g (5 oz) light muscovado sugar
  • 2 large eggs, beaten
  • 2 tablespoons golden syrup
  • 225g (8 oz) self-raising flour
  • 115g (4 oz) dark chocolate, melted
  • 1 or 2 red chillies, deseeded and very finely chopped
  • Chocolate frosting :
  • 175g (6 oz) dark chocolate (above 70% cocoa solids)
  • 2 tablespoons dark muscovado sugar
  • 150ml soured cream
  • To decorate :
  • Red and green coloured marzipan
  • Red sugar sprinkles

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 180ºC/350ºF/gas mark 4. Line a 12-cup muffin tray with paper cases.
2. Beat the butter and sugar together until creamy. Gradually mix in the eggs and stir in the golden syrup, flour, melted chocolate and chopped chillies.
3. Spoon into the paper cases and bake for 20 minutes or until just firm to the touch. Cool in the tin for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.
4. To make the chocolate icing: chop or break the chocolate into small pieces and melt in a bowl placed over a pan of steaming water, stirring until smooth. Remove the bowl to the work surface and beat in the sugar until dissolved, followed by the sour cream.
5. Spread the frosting over the cupcakes and decorate with chillies, or hearts moulded from coloured marzipan or sugar paste icing. Scatter over red sugar sprinkles.

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Filed under Alcohol, Beginnings!, Cold, Desserts, Errrrrr wtf?, Europe, Food & Cooking, France, Friends, Games People Play, Goodbye, Hello?, Men vs. Women, Politics, Sadness, Society, Spicy!, Sweden

European Dating Update !


 

So... what do you want to do?

I know. I’m single. So you’re probably thinking I am not the best candidate to be giving out advice. Well you can eat your words, because I must be amazing… because last night someone came up to me, asked for my number and we even discuss world finance ! Now… I shall be honest, he was an overweight Iranian late thirty year old… so not exactly my “dream demographic” and yet… no no I’m joking! I did NOT go there! I had to pretend I was dating someone, but it shows that we British/French girls have got in “goin’ on baby”!

In any case, as many of my readers will noticed (all three of you!) one of my most popular posts is about European Dating! And I may say, many a google search engine has sent the lucky internet surfer on my blog! So… here is an update on the subject!

Lately… I have been traveling a lot less (too much work!) but that doesn’t mean I haven’t met the fellow European… or other people or the world! So here goes…

1) The French… I wouldn’t say the French are my speciality… but I do live here and have had the chance of dating a fair few! What are they like you may ask? I would say… mmm… there are two ways of handling a Frog. Being up front is probably the best possible game to play… either say you want… say a “sex friend” (“plan cul” in French by the way) or say you would like to see where this goes. That said, I am and have been always a very passionate person, so when I like someone, he generally knows it! But… since that technique hasn’t exactly been working in my favour, I’ve starting playing games… and I’m sad to say that it is working (argh damn you Jan Austin!). I’ve been playing it cool, been very “peace and love” and it’s working. He is running after me. I am doing less work that usual. It’s a strange feeling. But hey, if the shoes fits! I suppose another way to get a Frenchie would be sex. No, I know there’s no surprise there, but the french love it. I think they are literally obsessed. That said… I wouldn’t recommend using your body to get a man… I don’t believe it really works that well, unless you want to be perceived as a whore… and that’s fine… but I don’t think it works for everyone!

2) The British… I really don’t have very much experience with these guys. I think they like really loose, honest women. :-/

3) The Spanish… I actually really like Spanish guys. They are usually bright, funny and honest guys. That said, you can’t generalize but I have always enjoyed their company. Very laid back guys, and to be honest I feel that these are the guys you can really be yourself with… whereas the French are pretty judgemental (clothes and money), the Spanish don’t see to really care about the way you dress or things like that. I mean, I am sure that some people are of course, but I haven’t met any.

4) Moroccan/Algerian guys… are very upfront. I can’t say there is much romance here. If you want to snag the north african man, not much game playing or flirting is needed. Tell them what you want and it’s a done deal.

That’s all for today I’m afraid… I have work to do (and I really want to take a nap!).

ps: To get any guy, alcohol, pizza and sexy clothes usually work. 🙂

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System Bolaget… or Getalob Metsys (If You’re REALLY Drunk) – Which is Unlikely!


 

Woo Hoo! (not!)

Here’s their site in case what I say next is unbelievable : http://www.systembolaget.se/Applikationer/Knappar/InEnglish/

So what is this “System Bolaget”? Well to put it simply, is Sweden’s answer to pissing on someone’s parade! No really.

I totally understand where they are coming from, and after visiting Helsinki earlier this month, I now realise why! (but i’ll mention that later on). Anyway, System Bolaget is a state owed organisation (or company) who has the monopole on alcoholic beverage sales in Sweden. It only sells alcoholic drinks over 3,5 % degrees (so basically everything if you’d want to get slightly tipsy on). You see, you wouldn’t be that annoyed about that if it was only that… except that it isn’t! System Bolaget also has an annoying rule that only over twenty year olds can buy alcohol, so woo hoo for me, wah wah for anyone under that age (and on an Erasmus!). It also however has an slightly albeit understandable time table too. Weekdays (apart from Friday) most stores are open from 9 to 18 ou even (if you know where to go!) 9 to 19! Wow! And on weekends, if I am right I believe they close between three and five in the afternoon!

So if you go on their site, they will give you a lot of info telling you what an amazing system it is and whatever. Now I don’t really care about that, I mean I can really understand where they are coming from but it does also stop average people coming home from work and wanting to have a glass of wine with their meal to do so. But, after a short visit to Helsinki I do realise why it can be a good idea too.

In Helsinki, I was very shocked at the amount of drunk people outside, and I don’t mean a bit tipsy but really really drunk. Not just young people but a host of middle ages business men, young and not young me and women too. Some of these people were so drunk they could barely walk, and one girl looking like she was dead on the floor! Now don’t get me wrong, I have lived in London for a long time and I can assure you that we Brits sure know how to drink (among other things) but never have I seen with my bare eyes people that drunk and in that quantity. I am not passing judgement on the Finnish, I can remember about two times where I have been ridiculously drunk and I honestly regret that. We all learn from our mistakes.

So, I don’t know how wide spread this is in Scandinavia but if it was very common then I am not surprised that since the nineteenth century has there been the System Bolaget. What people fail to realise is that since Sweden joined the European Union, state decisions (like this alcoholic beverage monopoly) have to be vetted and agreed upon by the Swedish people themselves via referendum… and they do want to keep this organisation! So maybe we other Europeans have something to ask ourselves about. Is this the way to go or not?

If we look at Holland where Cannabis (in certain quantities) is legal, have they become a country of lazy cannabis smoking weirdos? No. They have taken the stance on legality concerning strong substances and it is thus up to the person to decide whether of not he wishes to take them. This is utter freedom. Sweden’s response to alcoholism in another stance on the situation, not banning but total control. Both of them seem to work, so maybe… and this is strange to say, but maybe regarding these issues, being moderate doesn’t work? Or is it all a matter of culture?

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Filed under Alcohol, Culture, Europe, Holland, Law, Politics, Sweden

Men Suck !


I suppose this is just me ranting on how full of crap men are. Not only are they pointless pieces of crap and many of them subhuman insects at best. But some of them really and truly are. One minute they are all over you, then they are all over someone else… or they pretend they don’t understand female psychology. WHATEVER!

Seriously, I am not like a fair few girls here who are looking to shag as many people as possible (and from as many countries as possible). I am actually a girl NOT looking for that. Seriously, sex is everywhere. Anyone can have it. I don’t get it. I’m not going to judge the people who do that. I always feel that you should do what you want, and you shouldn’t care what people think of you (as long as you don’t hurt other people). But per-lease, men… don’t act as though you don’t understand what is going through a woman’s brain when you act the way you do.

I will give you a true story example. I will obviously changed said names for anonymity.

I wasn’t interested in this guy… until he asks me out (for coffee or something)… which led me to think… what are his motivations? I didn’t get it. I went, we had a blast… then a few days later… at a party… he asks to come round and watch a movie. Now… I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt, not because I am angry with him (in this case, I don’t care) but because people should learn from their mistakes.

We stayed up until five in the morning, then he gets up and leaves. I was like whatttt?? So being the honest, straight forward no bullshit person I am, I asked him what his deal was… he says some of the same bullshit you hear from a lot of teen movies about letting someone down (except… he wasn’t, but I wasn’t going to be mean and tell him I actually wasn’t interested to start with). Something about I like you, you are cool but bla bla bla not ready… it’s all about me, it’s not about you etc etc.

Ha, I laughed, rolled over and went back to sleep. This is a perfect example of “lost in translation”. Guy A thinks he is just “hanging out” with a girl… but unless you make it clear to her in the beginning, you do NOT ask to watch movies after a party until five in the morning, that screams “booty call” to many a person (am I right or am I right?). BIG MISTAKE HOMIE! ha, well let’s hope he doesn’t make that mistake twice. His problem I believe was… experience. He didn’t understand that girls analyse EVERYTHING. And I really mean, everything.

Example number two : Before I went off to Copenhagen, I used to have a small crush on this guy (in Erasmus here… not going to say who). But like I am, I didn’t see/hear from him in ages, so I forgot about it and concentrated on me. Having fun here! Then I received what I presume to be a drunken text from him asking me why I am not at some party. (I was sleeping due to my early wake up call to go to Denmark). Anyhow, on the way to Copenhagen on the bus, we chat via text. (Not very interesting conversation really). I’m like… whattt???? Why is he contacting me after such a long time? I’m curious… I start to have “hope”.

Well God shat on that faster than you can say “what did you say?”. I see him at a party where he spends three hours grinding against some girl. He does however have enough time to shout in my ear “HOW ARE YOU? HAVING FUN?”. Well not anymore asshole. pffff

However, you may be asking me… what was his mistake? His mistake was texting me when he wasn’t interested. Don’t ask me why I’m not at a party if I’m not there. It leads women to think, “oh wow… he’s somewhere thinking of me… why was he thinking of me?” etc etc.

NOT GOOD.

So ladies and gentlemen… learn from these guys mistakes.

 

Oh and on another note, making out in public = also a big no no for girls. Argh it’s not sexy and no one what’s to see that.

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