Category Archives: Cold

I know. I know.


On/offI have to say, I am feeling rather on the apathetic side today, but I shall stroll through that part of my brain, and go straight to the... Roxy, you are dead cringe now. You're 24. Stop acting like a 12 year old who has a crush on one of the Westlife fellas (can't believe I just wrote "fellas". I will admit, it seems the kind of word that sits quite well next to the band Westlife). Anyway. I have a crush. I know. Shock Horror. Me. Me? Yes. Yes I know. Me. The cringe factor is that I am really shy when it comes to my feelings. I think I don't like really telling people how I feel about a person (whether in a friendly or in a "I like you where it smells funny" kind of like (to quote the Bloodhound Gang (first time they have probably EVER been quoted to be honest anyway)). In any case, I don't know the guy per say (he's in my school, 4th year student... and before you start shouting ERRRRR OLDER MAN... I'm the same age as him, I just had to do 2 degrees first), but he did give me a tour of the school (ok, not personally... but well, it felt like it). He isn't really my type (if I were to define my type anyway) but he has something about him which I find... intriguing? (now I feel like I'm in a Jane Austin book... swoon swoon... (argh)) but to be honest, I feel that really he is hot hot hot... and fuck it, yes I'm going to say it. He's hot with two t's. Usher had it right. It's "hott" in here. I'm not going to say anything about him, safe to say he probably has no idea I exist, and I am actually capable to changing direction in order to avoid him (see, told you. This is the reaction of a 12 year old). Unless I am super drunk, and let's be honest, I am never really drunk... I probably won't say anything. I've only ever asked one guy out... didn't turn out great (I'll briefly mention that he is not talking to me at the moment... I think he's too embarrassed. This is a guy we will call X (original? Yes I think so!) (i digress sorry), all my friends think he is super weird and dodgy (but we have been friends for 5 years on and off, he pisses me off). And we have messed around, but I'm not like that. So yeah. Anyway, never liked him, started to have feelings and he started to be weird. My friends personally feel he's chicken. Or doesn't know what he wants. Well I ain't gunna wait!)
So back to super sexy guy from my school (I say school, I mean art school, for adults. You know. Real humans). I haven't seen him in over a week. i think he's either dead, or hibernating. Which, if it's the latter, sucks because winter is a good excuse to get naked inside with someone... but if he is going to be sleeping all winter, not only is my winter gunna suck (I mean even if i never get to see the inside of his bedroom, I would still like to openly drool in his direction from time to time, but hiding behind a cleverly disguised Jane Austin fan... duh!) But, if he does hibernate all winter, then come spring, he will be one horny little sexpot... but he might jump on any skinny french girl and then I'd be dumb. So... I'm thinking of hatching a plan. Except. That isn't me. So... I think I'll just continue my passive aggressiveness and ignore him, and continue my quest for eternal celibacy. If I'm still single in a year, I'll join either a nunnery... or a bordello. I'm betting on the nunnery.
What is truly depressing, is that all my friends have the same discourse of "you are amazing, super cool, bright... I don't know why you're single". Seriously? Last week I even got a "If I were a guy, I would so go out with you". Really? Well. Fuck me oh riley. I'm not looking for prince charming, I'm looking for a guy who has a brain, a sense of humour, can drink a beer, laugh with my friends, and find the right words for me". Now I'm not saying he has to be gorgeous, I tend to go for guys who look "different". But come on, God, don't send me any really obese guys. A little tummy, I'm cool with. A ridiculous hipster moustache? Fine; I'll deal. A guy who cross-dresses on weekends? Fine. Whatever. But holy fuck. Why, why... WHY am I alone?
I don't say this while slashing my wrists, I'm not depressed... I am seriously questioning myself.  I want to know. I personally think it's because I'm too much to handle. Guys can't take a girl who doesn't take shit from no one, speaks her mind and is generally a eccentric funky person. But at 24 I still have hope. (I say 24... but it's nearly my birthday! Christmas baby everyone!). How long should I wait until signing my death warrant? Or join a covent? (I can totally rhyme!)
25? 27? 50?
I might have to join an online wedding site. You know like in Russia. I'd be doing it legally too, I mean i already have 2 passports, so I don't even need to pretend to marry some guy just for a European passport, because I have two. That said, if it ends up like in the movies, I'll either be married to a heavily obese farmer... or a axe wielding murderer. I think I'll choose the murdering fuck-head. I'm pretty sure he'd make it a fast death. Or maybe like in Reservoir Dogs, he'll cut one of my ears off (which, i'd then go for the fat farmer, I'll just roll him over with the tractor, or fill his gullet with boiled eggs. Fat bastard probably wouldn't even choke. Probably slowly chew each one and ask for more).
Still. Need a plan. Mmmmm fuck it. I'm gunna flash the sexy guy from school (by the way, totally found him on Facebook... the guy has two youtube accounts as well, so I can perv on him from the comfort of my own flat... Now I sound weird).
Logging off. Need to make eggs. (I joke. It will be hot chocolate (no lactose, it will be soy)).
p.s. If the sexy guy from my school, in 4th year happens to pass by and read this (which is doubt, come on... he has never spoken to me)... I'm not a sociopath. I am just very shy and scared of making any decisions that will hurt me).
xxx

		
Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Christmas, Clichés, Cold, Errrrrr ?, Europe, France, Hello?, Holidays, LOL, Men vs. Women, Risk, Sadness, Uncertainty

It’s no longer chicken soup for the soul ladies and gents…


It’s raspberry cheesecake and chilli chocolate muffins.

Not to out do Martha Stewart… after a day of boredom… i decided to bake… bake… and bake. Not great when you’re on a “diet”… I need to lose boob and tummy weight… even though everyone says I don’t need to (especially the boob section) but I suppose I just made that a but harder… in any case… I got a message from a friend a few days ago… asking how I was and if I wanted to meet up (in Toulouse) next week… But to be honest, I don’t know if I should. I mean, (and I am still confused about this part) after I left Stockholm, I got back to uni… and everything had changed. My guy friends just… “dropped” me. Why? I have… no idea… this guy (who I really liked… as a friend… and may I say… he tried to sleep with me a fair few times… not that THAT was going to happen) just decided… he didn’t want to be friends anymore… well to be more correct when after 3 months I still hadn’t gone for a drink with him, I asked him straight out why we had not seen each other… and he said “I don’t have the same desire to see as I did before”. Now, to be brutal… I was floored. We had never been uber close… but close enough to know each other pretty well…

So what did I do?

I got up, and made myself some new friends! Partied like a crazy person, worked hard and got over it.

So… why do I suddenly get this… request to “meet up for a drink it’s been ages”…? I have no idea… argh. Even I can’t try and psychoanalyse this shit. So I am going to have a slice of cheesecake, and a giant glass of wine… or diet coke… whatever I can get my hands on first.

If you want the recipes… here we go (at least something positive can come out of it) :

Baked Raspberry Cheesecake 

Ingredients

  • 8 digestive biscuits
  • 50g butter , melted
  • 600g cream cheese
  • 2 tbsp plain flour
  • 175g caster sugar
  • Vanilla extract
  • 2 eggs, plus 1 yolk
  • 142ml pot soured cream
  • 300g raspberries 
  • icing sugar

Method

  1. Heat the oven to 180C/fan 160C/gas 4. Crush 8 digestive biscuits in a food processor (or put in a plastic bag and bash with a rolling pin). Mix with 50g melted butter. Press into a 20cm springform tin and bake for 5 minutes, then cool.
  2. Beat 600g cream cheese with 2 tbsp flour, 175g caster sugar, a few drops of vanilla extract, 2 eggs, 1 yolk and a 142ml pot of soured cream until light and fluffy. Stir in 150g raspberries and pour into the tin. Bake for 40 minutes and then check, it should be set but slightly wobbly in the centre. Leave in the tin to cool.
  3. Using the remaining 150g raspberries, keep a few for the top and put the rest in a pan with 1 tbsp icing sugar. Heat until juicy and then squash with a fork. Push through a sieve. Serve the cheesecake with the raspberry sauce and raspberries.

Dark Chocolate and Chilli Cupcakes

Ingredients

  • Chocolate cupcakes :
  • 175g (6 oz) unsalted butter, softened
  • 140g (5 oz) light muscovado sugar
  • 2 large eggs, beaten
  • 2 tablespoons golden syrup
  • 225g (8 oz) self-raising flour
  • 115g (4 oz) dark chocolate, melted
  • 1 or 2 red chillies, deseeded and very finely chopped
  • Chocolate frosting :
  • 175g (6 oz) dark chocolate (above 70% cocoa solids)
  • 2 tablespoons dark muscovado sugar
  • 150ml soured cream
  • To decorate :
  • Red and green coloured marzipan
  • Red sugar sprinkles

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 180ºC/350ºF/gas mark 4. Line a 12-cup muffin tray with paper cases.
2. Beat the butter and sugar together until creamy. Gradually mix in the eggs and stir in the golden syrup, flour, melted chocolate and chopped chillies.
3. Spoon into the paper cases and bake for 20 minutes or until just firm to the touch. Cool in the tin for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.
4. To make the chocolate icing: chop or break the chocolate into small pieces and melt in a bowl placed over a pan of steaming water, stirring until smooth. Remove the bowl to the work surface and beat in the sugar until dissolved, followed by the sour cream.
5. Spread the frosting over the cupcakes and decorate with chillies, or hearts moulded from coloured marzipan or sugar paste icing. Scatter over red sugar sprinkles.

Leave a comment

Filed under Alcohol, Beginnings!, Cold, Desserts, Errrrrr wtf?, Europe, Food & Cooking, France, Friends, Games People Play, Goodbye, Hello?, Men vs. Women, Politics, Sadness, Society, Spicy!, Sweden

Confess Your Sins : Oh Fuck… It’s Nearly January…


 

J-J-J-January!

Well it’s that time of year. You know what I mean. It’s that when we all pretend we will “change” and make conscious decisions to do so (even though it’s all baloney anyway). Well, I have never ever written any “New Years Resolutions”, but maybe this year is finally the year to do it after all. You are probably asking why at the tender age of twenty one (nearly twenty two I might add!) I have made this decision. Well, after much consideration I shall tell you.

Because for a longest time, I don’t think I really knew what it was to truly be happy. Well I am happy now. Practically every element of my life is under control, and… in nearly every  aspect of my life (I stress the nearly part, those who know me well know what that actually means) is as I want it. In any case, sometimes it is a good opportunity to see what you can improve in your life, and give you goals… that said, I don’t think it necessarily has to be in January that decisions should be made to reorganise ones life, but I suppose it’s a good start. So here goes :

1 ) Do the best I can, and stop procrastinating,

2 ) Drink less coffee (probably shouldn’t have bought a Nespresso machine should I? Mmmm…)

3 ) Go running more often, and not just once a week,

4 ) Be more patient and expect less from people in order not to be disappointed,

5 ) Talk it out and not to bottle things in,

6 ) Dress more feminine and stop wearing “rock” clothing,

7 ) Eat fish (apparently it’s good for you and has Omega 3… still tastes like shit though),

8 ) Stop mixing different types of alcohol (should have done things years ago!),

9 ) Try (come on Roxy TRY!) and really this time, not to be “critical” with the way people act, they can do what the hell they want, it’s not your problem if they act like jackasses (which leads to my next point),

10 ) Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, be “mysterious”…

11 ) Work harder, better, faster!

12 ) … (I’ll probably find more things I’m useless at doing!)

 

I would ask for your input but I’m afraid to ask… 😉 what about you guys, what are you going to try to do this year?

Leave a comment

Filed under Beginnings!, Cold, Happiness, NEW!

Snow and Why it Sucks


As usual when the christmas season arrives, most people take this as an opportunity to praise the amazingness of snow. These people are utter idiots and here is why. Snow is a wet, cold substance that when it comes into contact with heat, melts. It falls from the sky at exactly 0° annnnnd is rumoured to make children very happy. It is also useful when enjoying so called “winter sports” and various “snow like activities”. It also is a figure that is deemed “christmassy” and is a common theme found in cards during the holiday season. This is how this “substance” is perceived by the public.

THEY ARE MISTAKEN.

Snow is neither a “happy” outcome of the bad and cold weather. It is a pain in the arse. Snow only appeals to those who never have any where they live… or to those who live sufficiently far away to not be obliged to have to live with it on a daily basis, ie: a person who lives in Toulouse may LOVE the snow and enjoy going snowboarding… and yet doesn’t live in a place which say, like living in the Pyrenees mountains, would have much snow, (thus not having to live with the disadvantages of snow). This person may enjoy snowboarding… but doesn’t realise that there is such thing as having “too much snow”.

I know what it means (now at least) to have “too much snow”.

– Too much snow is… not being able to drive from A to B because between these two spaces… a tree has fallen down and no one has moved it.

– Too much snow is… being too cold (and thus too lazy) to go out and get food at the shop (so you eat very random meals such as pasta with tikka masala sauce (really not that tasty), tinned peaches with stale bread (also not that great) and tea with out milk (and to all British people the world over, this is a travesty).

– Too much snow is… having to dress up like the Michelin man every time you leave your dingy (yes… snow = winter THUS = less sunlight, and in my situation also means light-bulbs have also given up hope and I being lazy (cf: example 2) have not bought any new ones.

– Too much snow is… annoying when you have to wear boots that are not always that good when coming into contact with a wet, slippery surface (and thus falling down, to the amusement I have now discovered of the Swedish population).

– Too much snow… is spending your evenings cooped up inside because there is sweet F-A to do (because of example 2 again).

– Too much snow… is having to clear a path everywhere and also having to hold on to railings when walking down stairs in case you might DIE because of the risk of said “neck braking” incidents.

– Too much snow… is just an average pain in the arse because people seem to think its not “ok” to through balls of this horrible substance at you, and this in the name of “good old fashioned (and now deemed “wholesome”) fun”. No… you can keep you snow and it’s clichéd vision of winter. Snow is great when you’re inside, warm and eating mince pies and looking out of a window. Preferable with the lingering idea of never having to leave said “house” for a long period of time (i’d recommened the whole winter season to be on the safe side).

Not to mention the risk of ILLNESS when coming in contact with this wet, cold and slippery substance. People don’t warn people enough on the dangers of snow. When mummies little darlings are outside rolling around in the snow making snow angels and what not… they don’t realise in their innocence that they are in fact rolling in a danger zone for insects, excrement, bacteria… and of course the cold (which brings deceases that KILL (cf: the flu! Ok well maybe not as much any more… but it still kills old people and weaklings!).

I will concede that this rant has taken the form of a sort of soliloquy BUT in my defence… I am in Sweden where it is undoubtably cold, wet and snowing and I can’t say this is reminiscent of any “happy memories” concerning snow (apart from the occasional seasonal card with “snow” on it). That said, I have joined in on the “snow fun” on wordpress by making my blog “snow” (but only until January 4th that is). Why do I hear you saying at your computer? Well, because THIS snow is digital. It does not bring me any of the disadvantages of real snow, and yet it keeps what the lamen call  “a Christmassy feel” etc.

Having grown up in London, where “snow” (if you can call it that) is a sludgy greyish substance that you see maybe once or twice every two to three years, I didn’t generally associate snow with christmas and the winter season. Now, living in Sweden (but having may I add the same problem in the Pyrenees mountains) snow is an occupational hasard I could gladly live without. The extreme cold I can live with… snow… not so much. I neither snowboard, ski, or play in the snow. I merely look at it through my window with disdain while I see people trudge to university or to the shops for milk.

Does everyone enjoy snow really? Are those who enjoy snow those who never have it or those who in fact come into contact with it often?

A friend from India once said that she was “jealous” that I was surrounded by snow… I on the other hand was more objective saying that I didn’t mind snow in small quantities… but neither did I envy the heat she was accustomed to in India. Are we ever satisfied with what we have? Which leads me to wonder if some people will “enjoy” the change in temperature that the world is coming into contact with due to climat change. Of course the outcome is much different. The reheating of the planet melts more icebergs… which raises the sea levels… which then return floods certains very large areas (like the shores of Bangladesh for example). Thus giving us less living space for an increasingly large population (and thus less growing space for food and meat) and there are even more ecological aspects to take into account such as the inevitable loss of certain plant, animal species for example.

This is undoubtably another subjects… which leads me to say… (and I hate to admit it)… let’s leave the snow in Sweden (and where it’s meant to be) and instead find better ways to deal with the discomfort (at least for moi!) of having to live with it… all the while not polluting (would be good too).

1 Comment

Filed under Asia, Bangladesh, Cold, Environment, Europe, France, Hate!, India, Politics, Sadness, Sweden, Travel, UK

Ice-Skating 101 : How Not To Fail


Ice Ice Baby!

Actually this is just me being a bit cocky! I’ve only been ice-skating once (and that was… about three hours ago). But, in my defense, I only fell once, and I went four whole times around the rink without falling ONCE! Ha! I feel however pretty good about it, and I want to share my amazing skills with you all!

This is how it sent down. It was only 50kr at Kungsträdgården. The shoes (or whatever they are called) were pretty uncomfortable (to say the least!), but once on the ice, and after the first ten minutes it really wasn’t that hard, and I went faster and faster (but in this context I just realised that it sounds like I actually was going around very fast, but please do not get your hopes up, I still was slower than everyone else!). I was very happy to say that I went round the ice rink a few times without needing to hold the edges too!

I think the trick here is to skate as though it were roller blading, I felt like it as exactly the same (except that in my opinion the stakes are much higher due to the fact that (I think) smacking your face on the bare ice slightly more dangerous than… say on concret, but I am in no way of saying which one scientifically causes more pain or damage. Safe to say that both do, but that ice has the added (bonus?) to have a cold surface, which I don’t believe to be great!

They did play a lot of pretty lame music at the ice rink, but I wasn’t expecting Frank Sinatra or Billy Holiday anyway, so I will live with the black eyes peas and flo rida to accompany me around the ice. All I can say, is that flailing your arms about and leaning forward were my friends, and I believe my moderate success was due to these two things!

I was a bit disappointed that there weren’t so many stalls around the rink. I thought there would be lots of christmas music, with shops selling mulled wine and hot chocolate… and apart from a Pressbyran selling anything from hotdogs to drinks…. there wasn’t much. We did however take a hot chocolate which warmed us up amazingly!

1 Comment

Filed under Christmas, Cold, Europe, Happiness, Holidays, NEW!, Sweden, Travel