While researching this topic (a couple of bad encounters in the last week prompted this post!), I was quick to discover the europeans who I will have to brand “unlucky”. Our world works on clichés, you can’t deny it, we all secretly love them. I can’t tell you the number of times someone has walked up to me, and it could be anywhere : bus, train, in a queue at the local shop, in a club, at a bar and at christening (seriously, bad taste!) to ask me this “Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?”.
What can I possibly reply to someone I have never met before? Mmm let me see, no no I’m fine, and no I don’t feel in the mood for sex at this EXACT second. WHAT? Ha, apart from sex, being French has many more clichés that are not so flattering, say about odour, and certain “hair” issues… I personally can’t say I feel that I have any smelly or hairy problems, but it is the reputation we French have. Which you could say its strange since for us, we think that it is the Italiens and Portuguese or are the most hairy!
No, back to more “flirt orientated” clichés. The french are the flirty ones. They use language to get what they want. Light occasion touching are their main arsenal. The fact that we have this reputation is very helpful (as long as you don’t look like the hunchback of Notre Dame or something!) and it doesn’t hurt that many people believe we are good lovers (and no, I am not about to but that rumour to rest!). The Italiens… well they are the lovers. They are the stallions many women dream about. I suppose we could say that they are the southern sexy men that put the rest of the world to shame. Where this rumour started we will never know, but it has to be said that Italien men are a virile, macho and very masculine people. The tan, the eyes, the swagger appeal to many a woman. They don’t shy away from excessive flirting in order to snag their prey…
Now, that is a small example of the “europeans” that excel at an art of which eludes the great majority of us (and I, sadly include myself in the “I don’t know how to flirt with the guys I really want” section). Anyhow, the English as well as the Germans, have I am afraid the worst reputation.
For my part, I agree with the accusation that the Brits don’t know how to flirt, and yes I know I’m British, but I am not renouncing where I come from, just they way of getting you into bed etc. We all attracted to different things, and of course what would be deemed as heavy flirting for one person, could be deemed normal by another. It is generally believed that you can mesure the amount of love or importance a person has for you, by they way they look at you. I believe this. BUT, and this is a big but, while researching how the Germans flirt, I came across many a site explaining that a German man, will just stare at you with a blank stare, while behind that glassy exterior may be a man burning with love for you. So you can see that there is a dilemma. This is what annoys and yet gives hope to all women in the world. I explain.
That guy you like. You’re friends, but you really like him but are not sure of his feelings. Which is true, it is always hard to know the line between friends and “more than friends”. Dare to dream? Most of us live in a fantasy world where the guy we like likes us back. Sometimes the girl doesn’t know how he feels, and is this difficult indistinct world, she doesn’t act and he doesn’t act… and you both go out with people you like… but not as much maybe.
I always say CARPE DIEM, seize the day. If you get kicked to the curb, they will always be someone to pick you up, brush of the tears and give you that shot of vodka that gives you the strength to continue. That’s what we call hope.
So back to the British and German flirting “techniques”… A British guy, needs his drink to flirt, a British girl may not need it, but it gives you courage (I suppose) but what alcohol does in amorous situations is loosen the tongue. For my part, it makes me very honest, and I cannot lie (but everyone who knows me KNOWS that I must be the worst liar in existence anyway). The guy will be just as heavy handed as the girl in these alcohol infused flirting situations. To but it crudely, he will undoubtably be more interested in getting in her pants that anything else. This is the “first date” situation, where sex is the goal. Most of the time, if she refuses (or she of course), they might try and get to know the person better… and develop into something more.
For our German counterparts, apparently a foreigner saying a simple “Hello” may be deemed as quite forward! I think this is a bit much… The Germans are also seemed as pasty, scared men, who see getting women a sport… but never ever win… because they are so shy. They are not seen as very good lovers (just as the British are)… and are in the lowest position of desirable couples, (which I would, with a couple of friends highly dispute, but then we do love us some German men… we all like this cold exterior… and the accent! Lovely!)… anyway enough about that!
The Russians and Swedes are also seen as extremely desirable candidates. Tall, beautiful, and sporty… and of course blond! The Spanish, as also seen as the eternal “lovers” from the South, with their beautifully tanned skin and curly hair…
But in the end, we all like certain things. As long as you know what you want, the way you get there doesn’t really matter, but let’s remember, no one likes a person who is too direct, but nor do they want a person who is too shy to declare their interest! Where would Romeo and Juliette be if they had never said anything? Juliette would have married Paris… and Romeo… Rosalie? Mmm well they would undoubtably not have taken their own lives in any case.
It just proves, love hurts, but only rarely does it kill you!