Category Archives: Russia

Men are like Russian Dolls…


It’s the summer, which means for me that I have far more time to write. I have sadly been pretty lazy on the writing front lately. But My “mode year resolution” will be to take more time to write (and read, I have like 10 Hemingway books to read at the moment). So, today is a very special day for French people, and if you don’t know why, I highly recommened using google (hello the french revolution anyone?), so instead of writing something very predictable… I have decided to write about men, and their many “layers”. Predictable? I think not! Plus I have the very latest mac, so I am very very happy.

I got the idea to write this post on the follow up movie (with the name “Les Poupées Russes”) after the “l’Auberge Espagnol” by Cédrix Klapisch (with Romain Duris). But I have decided to put my own twist on the title, men are like russian dolls… why? Well, just like in the movie “Shrek”, the main character when asked what ogre’s are like, compares himself to an onion… an ogre with many layers… but wouldn’t you say that russian dolls are a far better (and prettier) analogy? 

Well I do. But I hear you behind your computer complaining, “why aren’t women russian dolls? Don’t they have layers?”. The thing is, it is a common fact that the woman psyche is very complicated. I mean of course men are complicated as well, but as goes relationships and such, men are far for direct that women. Women have a (horrible) tendency to analyse every act, every word… everything. Whereas a man is far more simple (in general of course). I highly agree with the whole “He’s just not that into you theory”. I know that we can’t paint all men with the same brush, I know, but I think it is the common belief that men… even if they beat around the bush a bit, one day tell you, make a woman understand that they “like” them.

Everyone has layers, but I firmly men believe that mens layers are easier to understand if you try and uncomplicate your own. We all need a bit more simplicity… and honestly. I mean sure, the chase is great… but sometimes it would be great to just have someone tell you (email, text, tweet, call, sign language, smoke signs… etc.) that they like you, maybe take you out and hopefully bump uglies (at some point).

This year, I have personally taken a year out of the “drama”. I have not flirted, not dated done practically nothing with guys because I wanted to “trim the drama from my life” and also get to know me better and find out what I wanted first (also I had 2 jobs in 2 different museums, as well as in a Pub and all the while going to uni… so not that much time anyway). I soon realised that… if you peel away the drama, everything seems more… simple… I have had more courage to just “say things”, and understand guys better. I’ve also learnt not to listen to girls who gossip, but to just let them talk, because a gossiper… is usually talking a lot of crap.

So back to russian dolls. Imagine that each doll is a layer of various things, it could be a conversation you had with said guy, another layer could be a date, one could be a missed call… anything. Peel away all that, and just talk honestly. Don’t believe the hype about men being from mars, and women from venus. We all can communicate in one form or another, so stop playing games, just talk. But sometimes, the dating game is to peel away the layers… so don’t walk through the relationship without looking. Keep the game clean, don’t buy yourself a “How to date” dictionary, try and make your own. Each guy, each woman and each relationship is different… so peel away differently… and individually.

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Filed under Clichés, Europe, Games People Play, Hello?, Love, Men vs. Women, Politics, Russia, Society

Flirting… the European Way?


While researching this topic (a couple of bad encounters in the last week prompted this post!), I was quick to discover the europeans who I will have to brand “unlucky”. Our world works on clichés, you can’t deny it, we all secretly love them. I can’t tell you the number of times someone has walked up to me, and it could be anywhere : bus, train, in a queue at the local shop, in a club, at a bar and at christening (seriously, bad taste!) to ask me this “Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?”.

What can I possibly reply to someone I have never met before? Mmm let me see, no no I’m fine, and no I don’t feel in the mood for sex at this EXACT second. WHAT? Ha, apart from sex, being French has many more clichés that are not so flattering, say about odour, and certain “hair” issues… I personally can’t say I feel that I have any smelly or hairy problems, but it is the reputation we French have. Which you could say its strange since for us, we think that it is the Italiens and Portuguese or are the most hairy!

No, back to more “flirt orientated” clichés. The french are the flirty ones. They use language to get what they want. Light occasion touching are their main arsenal. The fact that we have this reputation is very helpful (as long as you don’t look like the hunchback of Notre Dame or something!) and it doesn’t hurt that many people believe we are good lovers (and no, I am not about to but that rumour to rest!). The Italiens… well they are the lovers. They are the stallions many women dream about. I suppose we could say that they are the southern sexy men that put the rest of the world to shame. Where this rumour started we will never know, but it has to be said that Italien men are a virile, macho and very masculine people. The tan, the eyes, the swagger appeal to many a woman. They don’t shy away from excessive flirting in order to snag their prey…

Now, that is a small example of the “europeans” that excel at an art of which eludes the great majority of us (and I, sadly include myself in the “I don’t know how to flirt with the guys I really want” section). Anyhow, the English as well as the Germans, have I am afraid the worst reputation.

For my part, I agree with the accusation that the Brits don’t know how to flirt, and yes I know I’m British, but I am not renouncing where I come from, just they way of getting you into bed etc. We all attracted to different things, and of course what would be deemed as heavy flirting for one person, could be deemed normal by another. It is generally believed that you can mesure the amount of love or importance a person has for you, by they way they look at you. I believe this. BUT, and this is a big but, while researching how the Germans flirt, I came across many a site explaining that a German man, will just stare at you with a blank stare, while behind that glassy exterior may be a man burning with love for you. So you can see that there is a dilemma. This is what annoys and yet gives hope to all women in the world. I explain.

That guy you like. You’re friends, but you really like him but are not sure of his feelings. Which is true, it is always hard to know the line between friends and “more than friends”. Dare to dream? Most of us live in a fantasy world where the guy we like likes us back. Sometimes the girl doesn’t know how he feels, and is this difficult indistinct world, she doesn’t act and he doesn’t act… and you both go out with people you like… but not as much maybe.

I always say CARPE DIEM, seize the day. If you get kicked to the curb, they will always be someone to pick you up, brush of the tears and give you that shot of vodka that gives you the strength to continue. That’s what we call hope.

So back to the British and German flirting “techniques”… A British guy, needs his drink to flirt, a British girl may not need it, but it gives you courage (I suppose) but what alcohol does in amorous situations is loosen the tongue. For my part, it makes me very honest, and I cannot lie (but everyone who knows me KNOWS that I must be the worst liar in existence anyway). The guy will be just as heavy handed as the girl in these alcohol infused flirting situations. To but it crudely, he will undoubtably be more interested in getting in her pants that anything else. This is the “first date” situation, where sex is the goal. Most of the time, if she refuses (or she of course), they might try and get to know the person better… and develop into something more.

For our German counterparts, apparently a foreigner saying a simple “Hello” may be deemed as quite forward! I think this is a bit much… The Germans are also seemed as pasty, scared men, who see getting women a sport… but never ever win… because they are so shy. They are not seen as very good lovers (just as the British are)… and are in the lowest position of desirable couples, (which I would, with a couple of friends highly dispute, but then we do love us some German men… we all like this cold exterior… and the accent! Lovely!)… anyway enough about that!

The Russians and Swedes are also seen as extremely desirable candidates. Tall, beautiful, and sporty… and of course blond! The Spanish, as also seen as the eternal “lovers” from the South, with their beautifully tanned skin and curly hair…

But in the end, we all like certain things. As long as you know what you want, the way you get there doesn’t really matter, but let’s remember, no one likes a person who is too direct, but nor do they want a person who is too shy to declare their interest! Where would Romeo and Juliette be if they had never said anything? Juliette would have married Paris… and Romeo… Rosalie? Mmm well they would undoubtably not have taken their own lives in any case.

It just proves, love hurts, but only rarely does it kill you!

xoxo

Europe - So Many Opportunities!

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Filed under Europe, France, Germany, Happiness, Italy, Love, NEW!, Orgasm, Russia, Spain, Sweden, Travel, UK