Category Archives: Holidays

I know. I know.


On/offI have to say, I am feeling rather on the apathetic side today, but I shall stroll through that part of my brain, and go straight to the... Roxy, you are dead cringe now. You're 24. Stop acting like a 12 year old who has a crush on one of the Westlife fellas (can't believe I just wrote "fellas". I will admit, it seems the kind of word that sits quite well next to the band Westlife). Anyway. I have a crush. I know. Shock Horror. Me. Me? Yes. Yes I know. Me. The cringe factor is that I am really shy when it comes to my feelings. I think I don't like really telling people how I feel about a person (whether in a friendly or in a "I like you where it smells funny" kind of like (to quote the Bloodhound Gang (first time they have probably EVER been quoted to be honest anyway)). In any case, I don't know the guy per say (he's in my school, 4th year student... and before you start shouting ERRRRR OLDER MAN... I'm the same age as him, I just had to do 2 degrees first), but he did give me a tour of the school (ok, not personally... but well, it felt like it). He isn't really my type (if I were to define my type anyway) but he has something about him which I find... intriguing? (now I feel like I'm in a Jane Austin book... swoon swoon... (argh)) but to be honest, I feel that really he is hot hot hot... and fuck it, yes I'm going to say it. He's hot with two t's. Usher had it right. It's "hott" in here. I'm not going to say anything about him, safe to say he probably has no idea I exist, and I am actually capable to changing direction in order to avoid him (see, told you. This is the reaction of a 12 year old). Unless I am super drunk, and let's be honest, I am never really drunk... I probably won't say anything. I've only ever asked one guy out... didn't turn out great (I'll briefly mention that he is not talking to me at the moment... I think he's too embarrassed. This is a guy we will call X (original? Yes I think so!) (i digress sorry), all my friends think he is super weird and dodgy (but we have been friends for 5 years on and off, he pisses me off). And we have messed around, but I'm not like that. So yeah. Anyway, never liked him, started to have feelings and he started to be weird. My friends personally feel he's chicken. Or doesn't know what he wants. Well I ain't gunna wait!)
So back to super sexy guy from my school (I say school, I mean art school, for adults. You know. Real humans). I haven't seen him in over a week. i think he's either dead, or hibernating. Which, if it's the latter, sucks because winter is a good excuse to get naked inside with someone... but if he is going to be sleeping all winter, not only is my winter gunna suck (I mean even if i never get to see the inside of his bedroom, I would still like to openly drool in his direction from time to time, but hiding behind a cleverly disguised Jane Austin fan... duh!) But, if he does hibernate all winter, then come spring, he will be one horny little sexpot... but he might jump on any skinny french girl and then I'd be dumb. So... I'm thinking of hatching a plan. Except. That isn't me. So... I think I'll just continue my passive aggressiveness and ignore him, and continue my quest for eternal celibacy. If I'm still single in a year, I'll join either a nunnery... or a bordello. I'm betting on the nunnery.
What is truly depressing, is that all my friends have the same discourse of "you are amazing, super cool, bright... I don't know why you're single". Seriously? Last week I even got a "If I were a guy, I would so go out with you". Really? Well. Fuck me oh riley. I'm not looking for prince charming, I'm looking for a guy who has a brain, a sense of humour, can drink a beer, laugh with my friends, and find the right words for me". Now I'm not saying he has to be gorgeous, I tend to go for guys who look "different". But come on, God, don't send me any really obese guys. A little tummy, I'm cool with. A ridiculous hipster moustache? Fine; I'll deal. A guy who cross-dresses on weekends? Fine. Whatever. But holy fuck. Why, why... WHY am I alone?
I don't say this while slashing my wrists, I'm not depressed... I am seriously questioning myself.  I want to know. I personally think it's because I'm too much to handle. Guys can't take a girl who doesn't take shit from no one, speaks her mind and is generally a eccentric funky person. But at 24 I still have hope. (I say 24... but it's nearly my birthday! Christmas baby everyone!). How long should I wait until signing my death warrant? Or join a covent? (I can totally rhyme!)
25? 27? 50?
I might have to join an online wedding site. You know like in Russia. I'd be doing it legally too, I mean i already have 2 passports, so I don't even need to pretend to marry some guy just for a European passport, because I have two. That said, if it ends up like in the movies, I'll either be married to a heavily obese farmer... or a axe wielding murderer. I think I'll choose the murdering fuck-head. I'm pretty sure he'd make it a fast death. Or maybe like in Reservoir Dogs, he'll cut one of my ears off (which, i'd then go for the fat farmer, I'll just roll him over with the tractor, or fill his gullet with boiled eggs. Fat bastard probably wouldn't even choke. Probably slowly chew each one and ask for more).
Still. Need a plan. Mmmmm fuck it. I'm gunna flash the sexy guy from school (by the way, totally found him on Facebook... the guy has two youtube accounts as well, so I can perv on him from the comfort of my own flat... Now I sound weird).
Logging off. Need to make eggs. (I joke. It will be hot chocolate (no lactose, it will be soy)).
p.s. If the sexy guy from my school, in 4th year happens to pass by and read this (which is doubt, come on... he has never spoken to me)... I'm not a sociopath. I am just very shy and scared of making any decisions that will hurt me).
xxx

		
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Filed under Christmas, Clichés, Cold, Errrrrr ?, Europe, France, Hello?, Holidays, LOL, Men vs. Women, Risk, Sadness, Uncertainty

Let’s All Say Goodbye…. to 2011


Time Flies When... ?

Time Flies When... ?

This year has been full of ups and downs. So… what happend?

I started the year in the wonderful city of Stockholm. I had just spent six months of pure bliss there (apart from the fact that my bank account was constantly bone dry, was really only a minor bump in the road to be honest). But, the year 2011 definitely started in style. January came and went, and it thus meant I had to leave the snowy north, and return to the chilly south of France to finish my History degree. February past, and I was taught that sometimes friends do nasty things, and that sometimes you need to cut people out of your life, because they are not worth the time you spent crying about them. So I said my second of my goodbyes in the beginning of 2011. Sadly it wouldn’t be the last. However, at university everything was great, good marks, and here came March. I met some new people and made new friends. Life was back on track. I was happy at home, at university and hurrah! I found a work experience placement in an art gallery. I even lost two kilos that month! We are now slowly creeping into April… nothing particularly interesting here. Between weekends with friends, and weekends back at home to see my family, life was as mundane and everyday as you could get. With May came exams… and big decisions… What am I going to do next year? Where am I going? And what the fuck am I going to do with my life? 

Well… now here is a certain “crise existentielle” (existential crisis)… but hey, I am far too busy with exams and the occasional (or not so occasional) knees up with friends, so I am not thinking about it. 

End of May. Results… Passed! Woo hoo ! Now… here starts my month of work experience. My first day I meet two girls who are also working at the gallery like me. We shall call them Jane Doe 1 and Jane Doe 2. I get along really great with both of them, and in particular Jane Doe 1. She is moving to Bordeaux next year to finish her history of Art degree. I decide to do a second degree and join her. That explains mostly why I am now living in Bordeaux. June in finished. July is here… and I pack up my apartment, and leave to join my parents. I go back and forth between Toulouse (where my friends are) and the pyrenees (where my parents are). The summer is hot, and I decide to get my first tattoo (which, don’t worry I had been planning for many a moon). July has finished… and like every summer, I am tan-less and freckle covered. 

August is here. I start work at a restaurant with a friend as waitresses. It is fun, but very tiring. I don’t see the month pass, and I am already moving again to another town. Goodbye Toulouse, Bordeaux here I come. I arrive in Bordeaux sans flat… so like any good natured hobo, I sleep on my friends’ couch for about 2 months. Around this time, I met some guy on the internet. He seems nice, I enjoy chatting with him… and then he suddenly decides we can’t talk anymore (I will admit… I still don’t understand what the frack happened there !). In any case, we are now in October, and I have a place to live end of the month! On the seventh of October, I get a call from my mother, who announces the death of a friend. I have not known many people that have died, but I feel heartbroken. I cry and cry. For some reason, I feel like moving around so much, changing towns, cities, countries and meeting new people, I end up saying more goodbyes than hellos. Jane Doe and I have been at our new university, and I have met some amazing new people, a few I know I will be friends with for a long time. I cannot forget the past, but I decide to continue, because this is one of life’s curve balls, and I know that I need to pick myself up again, and see all the greatness in the world. 

November is “move in” time. The apartment is far too big for my little old self, so I fill it with art. I have parties, we meet new people. I get a job interview for a pub. They like me and I’m hired. I also get a letter from the Musée d’Aquitaine in Bordeaux offering me a two month work experience placement! Joy indeed. December is here, I need to buy presents and I spend far too much money on my parents, but they have made so many sacrifices, that I just want to spoil them. December is nearly gone, and it’s the 25th. I turn 23. Then it’s the 31st. A friend and I order sushi and we see the new year in sober, but that’s exactly how I want it to be.

This year has been a real eye opener. 2011 was the year of “goodbyes”. 2012 I have decided will be the year of big decisions and “hellos”. I don’t want to say anymore “goodbyes”. So I have decided to live forever. Become a millionaire, and travel the world saying hello. I will never say anymore “goodbyes,” and just say  “see you laters”. I don’t want to make any new year resolutions, because I know I won’t stick to any of them, but I also know that you can’t predict what is going to happen next, so why try and pretend we are prepared for what is going to happen, and just continue biting our nails, smoking cigarettes, sleeping around, gaining weight etc. Let’s just live life, try our best and stay true to ourselves. Yes it’s corny. Yes you’ve heard this a million time. But we all know that the same shit always happens again and again, so let’s be mentally prepared this year.

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Filed under Beginnings!, Christmas, Family, France, Friends, Goodbye, Happiness, Hello?, Sadness, Sweden, Uncertainty

Lollipops : Because Who Doesn’t Want to Suck on Something Sweet on a Stick?


Just because… Well why not? Lollipops… that’s all you need to say! Enjoy!

Fruity lollipops

Yummy!

Ingredients

  • 450 g caster sugar
  • 1/8 tsp cream of tartar
  • 4 tbsp undiluted fruit cordial, such as blackcurrant, orange or lime

Method

1. Arrange 30–35 lollipop sticks spaced apart on several large, non-stick baking sheets.

2. Place the sugar, cream of tartar and 150ml water in a heavy-based saucepan on a medium heat and bring to a gentle boil while stirring all the time. Reduce the heat to low and simmer for 20–25 minutes without stirring, until the temperature on a sugar thermometer dipped into the mixture reads 143°C.

3. Stir in the cordial just before the syrup reaches this temperature (after 15–20 minutes). The mixture will bubble up, so be careful as it is very hot.

4. Once the correct temperature has been reached, remove the pan from the heat and, working quickly, spoon small pools of the syrup onto one end of each lollipop stick and allow to set for about 5 minutes, until hardened.

5. If you wish, wrap the lollipops in cellophane and tie with string as soon as they have cooled and hardened, to prevent them from absorbing moisture. Store them in an airtight container in a cool, dry place for up to a week.

Dark Chocolate Lollipops with Cinder Toffee

Chocolate Deliciousness!

Ingredients

For the cinder toffee

  • 75 g honey
  • 140 g liquid glucose
  • 400 g caster sugar
  • 5 tbsp water
  • 20 g bicarbonate of soda, sifted

For the lollipops

  • 300 g dark chocolate, minimum 70% cocoa solids
  • 12 lollipop sticks

Method

1. For the cinder toffee: place the honey, glucose, sugar and water in a heavy-based saucepan, stir well and heat to 148C (check using a sugar thermometer). Meanwhile, line a baking tray with greaseproof paper.

2. Once the temperature is reached, remove the pan from the heat and quickly stir in the bicarbonate of soda (be careful as the mixture may froth up suddenly). Pour the mixture into the prepared tray and set aside to cool.

3. When the toffee has cooled completely, use a rolling pin to bash it into small pieces and set aside.

4. For the lollipops: put the chocolate in a heatproof bowl set over a pan of gently simmering water, making sure the bottom of the bowl doesn’t touch the water. Leave until the chocolate has melted.

5. Take a non-stick baking tray or silicone sheet and pour about 2 tablespoons of the melted chocolate onto it in the shape of a circle. Set a lollipop stick in the centre of the chocolate circle then sprinkle over some of the cinder toffee pieces. Repeat with the remaining chocolate, lollipop sticks and cinder toffee.

6. Leave the lollipops in a cool, dry place until the chocolate has set. Finally, carefully lift them from the tray or silicone and serve.

Damson lollipops

Chocolate Heaven

Ingredients

  • 700 g damsons
  • 300 g caster sugar
  • 125 g eggs, (about 2)
  • 150 g egg yolks, (about 8)
  • 4 g gelatine, leaves (about 2 sheets)
  • 180 g butter, cubed
  • 100 g dark chocolate, 80% cocoa solids
  • 50 g dark chocolate, 60% cocoa solids
  • 50 g milk chocolate
  • 100 ml clarified butter

Method

1. Put the damsons in a large saucepan with 1 tablespoon of water and simmer for about 10 minutes until pulpy. Press the pulp through a sieve into a bowl to remove the seeds. Set aside.

2. Tip the sugar, eggs and egg yolks into a large bowl and whisk until smooth. Soak the gelatine leaves in water.

3. Re-heat the damson puree and gently pour it into the egg mixture, whisking constantly until the mixture thickens slightly. Add the soaked gelatine and butter, whisking all the time until everything has melted.

4. Pour the mixture into a deep plastic container and put it into the freezer.

5. Meanwhile, melt all the chocolate and clarified butter together over a bowl of gently simmering water. Mix well and keep at room temperature.

6. Once the damson mixture is frozen, use a melon baller to cut out small balls (cut them into small squares if you prefer). Pop a lolly stick into each one, arrange them all on a tray and put them back into the freezer to set again for 20 minutes.

7. Dip each lollipop one by one into the chocolate and rest on a very cold baking tray. Put them back into the freezer to set and serve ice cold.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Christmas, Desserts, Food & Cooking, Holidays

Ice-Skating 101 : How Not To Fail


Ice Ice Baby!

Actually this is just me being a bit cocky! I’ve only been ice-skating once (and that was… about three hours ago). But, in my defense, I only fell once, and I went four whole times around the rink without falling ONCE! Ha! I feel however pretty good about it, and I want to share my amazing skills with you all!

This is how it sent down. It was only 50kr at Kungsträdgården. The shoes (or whatever they are called) were pretty uncomfortable (to say the least!), but once on the ice, and after the first ten minutes it really wasn’t that hard, and I went faster and faster (but in this context I just realised that it sounds like I actually was going around very fast, but please do not get your hopes up, I still was slower than everyone else!). I was very happy to say that I went round the ice rink a few times without needing to hold the edges too!

I think the trick here is to skate as though it were roller blading, I felt like it as exactly the same (except that in my opinion the stakes are much higher due to the fact that (I think) smacking your face on the bare ice slightly more dangerous than… say on concret, but I am in no way of saying which one scientifically causes more pain or damage. Safe to say that both do, but that ice has the added (bonus?) to have a cold surface, which I don’t believe to be great!

They did play a lot of pretty lame music at the ice rink, but I wasn’t expecting Frank Sinatra or Billy Holiday anyway, so I will live with the black eyes peas and flo rida to accompany me around the ice. All I can say, is that flailing your arms about and leaning forward were my friends, and I believe my moderate success was due to these two things!

I was a bit disappointed that there weren’t so many stalls around the rink. I thought there would be lots of christmas music, with shops selling mulled wine and hot chocolate… and apart from a Pressbyran selling anything from hotdogs to drinks…. there wasn’t much. We did however take a hot chocolate which warmed us up amazingly!

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Filed under Christmas, Cold, Europe, Happiness, Holidays, NEW!, Sweden, Travel

It’s nearly Christmas : So here is the Perfect Christmas Dinner !


Well christmas dinner is different for everyone, but this is what we do every year. Now it may be a bit much, but my birthday is also on the same day as… yes you heard it Jesus Christ… so it is my favourite time or year, and yes I need me some delicious Christmas goodness to make up for the fact that I only get presents once a year ! I always serve my christmas dinner with bread sauce, cranberry sauce and of course gravy! Now I personally don’t make my own gravy, and I know it is a ridiculous reason, but I don’t like the idea of eating giblets… so I prefer the pre-bought version (Bisto). I’m also adding a christmas pudding recipe, but I hardly ever make it. I do however make mince pies, which may I say are very yummy!

The Roast Turkey

Step 1

Ingredients

  • 1 5 -7 kg turkey
  • 1 onion, peeled and halved
  • 1 bunch of sage, thyme and rosemary
  • 25 g butter, softened
  • 1/2 lemon or orange

Method

1. Remove the turkey from the fridge 2-3 hours before you want to cook it, to allow it to reach room temperature.

2. Preheat the oven to 180C/gas 4 (if oven is fan assisted, use 160C).

3. Place the onion and herbs into the body cavity. Squeeze the juice of lemon or orange over the bird and put the fruit into the cavity. Season the cavity with salt and pepper.

4. Smear the turkey skin with butter and then season with salt and pepper, starting with breast side up. Then flip the turkey and repeat on the underside.

5. In a large roasting pan, place the turkey ready to roast breast side down. This allows fat to trickle from the back down to the breast to keep it moist.

6. Roast the turkey upside down for the first 2 hours (or, slightly less for the smaller bird).

7. Remove the turkey from the oven. Now, turn the turkey right side up for the remaining cooking time (30 – 45 minutes). Protect your hands with thick towel or clean Marigolds. (You can wrap these in plastic bags to keep them clean.) Hold the drumsticks to turn the turkey.

8. Return turkey to oven for 30 – 45 minutes or until the juices run clear when a skewer is inserted. If the juices are pink, return the turkey to the oven and check again in 10 minutes. You don’t need to overcook the turkey as the internal temperature of the meat will continue to rise as the turkey rests. A dry turkey is often just overcooked!

9. Remove turkey from the oven. Tent with foil and allow to rest for 30 – 60 minutes so the juices settle into the meat.

10. Carve the turkey into the pan juices to keep mois

Brussels Sprouts with Chestnuts and Lardons

Step 2

Ingredients

  • A drizzle of olive oil
  • 25 g vacuum-packed cooked and peeledchestnuts, chopped
  • 50g (or more if you like) of lardons
  • 300 g brussels sprouts, trimmed
  • 3 Garlic cloves, chopped into small pieces
  • 2 chopped onions

Method

1. Drizzle the oil in  a frying pan and fry the garlic, lardons and onion.

2. Cook the Brussels sprouts in salted boiling water for 5-8 minutes, or until tender, then drain.

3. Then in the large frying pan, put the cooked brussels sprouts in and make sure they are cooked well.

4. Then put the chestnuts in. Leave to cook for a while. I like mine a bit mushy.

Goose Fat Roast Potatoes

Step 3

Ingredients

  • salt
  • 600 g potatoes, peeled and chopped into even-sized chunks
  • 150 g goose fat
  • Rosemary sprigs

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/gas 6.

2. Bring a large pan of salted water to the boil. Add in the potatoes. Once the water comes back to the boil parboil the potatoes for 10 minutes; drain and return to the pan. Shake the pan vigorously to roughen the potatoes.

3. Meanwhile, heat the goose fat to smoking point in a roasting tin. Add in the potatoes, using tongs to place them in the tin cut side down. Add the rosemary sprigs.

4. Roast for 30-40 minutes, turning over twice during the roasting period.

Sticky Cumin and Apricot Roast Carrots and Parsnips

Step 4

Ingredients

  • 500 g small carrots
  • 500 g small parsnips, halved
  • 3 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 tsp cumin seeds
  • salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 tbsp apricot jam
  • 2 tsp lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp chopped coriander

 

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6.

2. Place the carrots and parsnips in a large roasting tin and drizzle with the olive oil. Scatter over the cumin seeds, season with salt and pepper and toss everything together to coat evenly.

3. Roast in the oven for 40–45 minutes, tossing occasionally in the oil during cooking, until tender and golden.

4. Heat the apricot jam and lemon juice for a few minutes in a small saucepan, stirring until you have a smooth, runny sauce. Pour this over the carrots and parsnips for the last 10 minutes of cooking, tossing the vegetables in the sauce to coat evenly. Scatter with the coriander just before serving.

Traditional Bread Sauce

Step 5

Ingredients

  • 300 ml milk
  • 150 ml single cream
  • 1 onions
  • 6 cloves
  • 1 bay leaves
  • 25 g breadcrumbs
  • 1 pinches salt
  • 1 pinches cayenne pepper
  • 25 g butter

Method

1. Bring the milk and cream to a simmering boil in a saucepan. Add the onion, cloves and bay leaf.

2. Set aside to infuse for 20 minutes. Strain into a clean pan.

3. Add the breadcrumbs and simmer for 2 minutes until thickened. Season with the salt and cayenne pepper.

4. Remove from the heat, and melt the butter on top, which will form a seal until ready to serve.

5. When read to use, gently heat through, mix the butter in and serve.

Cranberry Sauce

Step 6

Ingredients

  • 170 g cranberries
  • sloe gin, to marinate
  • 150 ml freshly squeezed orange juice
  • 75 g caster sugar
  • 2 pinches ground allspice
  • 1 pinches ground nutmeg
  • 1 pinches ground cinnamon

Method

1. Leave the cranberries to marinate in a splash of sloe gin in a shallow non-reactive bowl.

2. Combine the orange juice and sugar in a separate bowl and stir until the sugar has dissolved.

3. Pour the orange-sugar mixture into a pan, add the marinated cranberries and spices and simmer until nearly all the liquid has been absorbed.

4. Leave to cool and serve with turkey. The sauce can be stored, covered, in the fridge for 2-3 days or frozen for up to a month.

Christmas Pudding

Step 7

Ingredients

  • 350 g sultanas
  • 350 g raisins, or currants
  • 150 g dried figs, chopped
  • 125 g mixed candied peel, chopped
  • 100 g dried apricots, chopped
  • 75 g dark glacé cherries, halved
  • 150 ml brandy, plus some for flaming
  • 2 apples, or quince
  • 2 oranges, juice and zest
  • 6 eggs
  • 250 g shredded suet
  • 350 g soft muscovado sugar
  • 250 g fresh breadcrumbs
  • 175 g self-raising flour
  • 1 tsp mixed spice

Method

1. You will need two 1.5 litre plastic pudding basins and lids, buttered, two old sixpences or two pound coins, scrupulously scrubbed, two circles of greaseproof paper, buttered, large enough to cover the top of each pudding, with a single pleat folded down the centre of each.

2. Soak the sultanas, raisins or currants, figs, candied peel, apricots and cherries in the brandy overnight. The liquid won’t cover the fruit but no matter; just give it a good stir now and again.

3. Mix the grated apples, orange juice and zest, beaten eggs, suet, sugar, crumbs and pour in a very large mixing bowl, then stir in the soaked fruit and the spice. Divide the mixture between the buttered pudding basins, tucking the coins in as you go. Cover with the greaseproof paper, folded with a pleat in the centre.

4. Pop the lids on and steam for three and a half hours. Allow the puddings to cool, then remove the greaseproof paper, cover tightly with cling ?lm and the plastic lid and store in a cool, dry place till Christmas.

5. To reheat: steam the puddings for a further three and a half hours. Turn out and flame with brandy.

 

 

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Filed under Christmas, Desserts, Family, Food & Cooking, Friends, Happiness, Holidays, Home, Love, Main Courses, Orgasm

Sex and the City…


Or sex in any city I mean. I bet you’re already salivating at the prospect of reading about the sordid details of my sexual prouesses. Well wipe you’re mouth, it’s not that kinda post… sorry all you ray-ban wearing computer geeks out there! (I can always recommend some good sites if you are really looking for a “fun ending” to your evening (or if you’re trying to shake things up, mid-afternoon).

Anyway, I don’t know about you, but every time I go on a streaming website (don’t get you’re hopes up again, I mean when I watch television series’) I get these little boxes pop up saying stuff like “Hey sexy, I’m also in Stockholm at the moment. What to meet up for hot sex?” OR “Hello, my name is Stephanie and I just arrived in Stockholm too. Wanna meet up?”.

Now, firstly… you probably won’t believe me, so I have included a screen shot on this post… It shows part of the screen of what I’m watching (which is surprise surprise Sex and the City) and the “sexy” pop up add. You should see the photos of the women too. Hilarious. They look like women from a bad porno circa the early nineties. Ha ha ha! They wear tube tops and scrunchies (which might not shock my male reader, but… well… the evidence speaks for itself… scrunchie women = not sexy… not at all). I mean sure, they have breasts, so the majority or the red blooded male population this earth has to offer, will probably pull their trousers up and take a shot at it. Well… not me. I’m not a man, and even if I was, I would definitely not choose a women who looks like character of the Brady Bunch gone bad (well if they ever went bad… lol).

I don’t know many men who found the actors of Little House on the Prairie sexy… thus I definitely don’t want their prostitute counterparts on my screen telling me I look “cute” and ask me if I was to “hang out”. Neither do I ever just “hang” with anyone, and nor  do I feel the uncontrollable desire to click on this msn looking pop up for some… masturbatory “happy time!”

I’m even surprised they haven’t offered free massages! Arghhhhh! I don’t know what this irrites me to much but it just does.

Breath Roxy breath. Ha! Ok, well for all those who have arrived up to this point in this post, I congratulate you. For that, you will be the lucky ones to know a couple of interesting sexual titbits from the Stockholm University Erasmus Population. Well… since I never talk about my personal experiences, because let’s face it, it’s known of your damn business… and well, I like my secrets. BUT, all I can say, is that some people (and yes I am looking at the southern European and south American people!) have been having quite the time of their lives lately… that said… the French and Germans from what I’ve seen and heard have been getting their “happy endings” just like those Chinese massage therapist promised…

 

 

Me, Myself & My Sexy Screen-Shot!

 

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Filed under Europe, Happiness, Holidays, Orgasm, Sweden

It’s Nearly Halloween…


Here are some tasty and very Halloween themed recipes… easy to make and absolutely yummy! Now… get cooking!


Awesome Halloween Cupcakes!


Ohhhhh Spooky!

Ingredients

For the cupcakes

  • 250 g unsalted butter, softened
  • 250 g caster sugar
  • 250 g self-raising flour
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 4 eggs
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

For the icing

  • 220 g unsalted butter
  • 400 g icing sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • writing icing
  • assorted halloween sweets, to decorate


Method

1. Preheat the oven to 175C.

2. Line muffin trays with 18 cupcake papers.

3. For the cupcakes:Place all the cupcake ingredients into a mixing bowl and beat with a mixer until pale and fluffy (2-3 minutes).

4. Distribute the mixture between the cupcake papers.

5. Bake for 20 minutes until golden brown.

6. Remove and allow to cool for 5 minutes in the tins, before cooling completely on a wire rack. Once cold you can prepare the icing.

7. For the icing: Cream the butter, sugar and vanilla in a medium bowl.

6. Separate the icing into several smaller bowls and add a couple of drops of food colouring to each to make different coloured icing.

7. Smear the icing onto the cooled cupcakes. Decorate with writing icing and Halloween sweets of your choice.


Hot mulled Cider Wine!

Ahhhhhh tasty!


Ingredients

  • 100 g brown sugar
  • 1 pinches salt
  • 2 litres cider
  • 1 tsp ground allspice
  • 1 tsp whole cloves
  • 1 pinches nutmeg
  • 2 oranges, peel only, cut into segments
  • 6 cm cinnamon sticks
  • 50 g blanched flaked almonds, lightly toasted


Method

1. Combine the sugar and salt, and add to the cider in a large saucepan.

2. Tie the spices in cheesecloth and add to the cider. Slowly bring to the boil. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes.

3. Remove the spices and add the orange peel, cinnamon stick and toasted almonds before serving in a punch bowl.


Hot Delicious Punch!


Heaven!

Ingredients

  • 1 glasses apple juice
  • 1 glasses orange juice
  • 1 glasses cranberry juice
  • 2 cm ginger, peeled and chopped
  • 2 cinnamon sticks
  • 2 star anise
  • 2 cloves

Method

1. Put all the ingredients into a pan and bring to just below boiling. Simmer for at least 15 – 20 minutes to let the flavours infuse. Sweeten with a little sugar if needed.

2. Strain into mugs and serve, with a warning that it is very hot!


Toffee Apples

Toffee Apples!

Ingredients

For the toffee coating

  • 225 g demerara sugar
  • 110 ml water
  • 0.5 tsp vinegar
  • 2 tbsp golden syrup
  • 25 g butter

For the apples

  • 6 apples
  • 6 wooden skewers, for holding the apples


Method

1. Dissolve the sugar in the water over a moderate heat. When it has dissolved, stir in the vinegar, syrup and butter. Bring to a boil and cook without stirring until it reaches hard-crack stage (138C) or hardens into a ball when dropped in a jug of cold water. This should take around 10 minutes boiling time.

2. While the syrup is cooking, pierce each apple with a wooden stick. Once the toffee is ready, dip each apple into the hot toffee, turning it around in the syrup so that each one is fully coated.

3. Leave to harden on a lightly oiled tray before serving. If you’re planning to keep them for a day or two, wrap the apples in cellophane.


Spicy Pumpkin and Coconut Soup


Devilish!

Ingredients

  • 4 stalks of lemongrass
  • 6 thai lime leaves
  • 2 x 50mm ginger, peeled
  • 2 clove garlic, peeled
  • 6 red chillies
  • juice of 2 limes
  • black pepper
  • 500 g pumpkin, peeled and chopped
  • sea salt
  • 2 tbsp vegetable oil
  • 2 banana shallots, finely chopped
  • 5 g cumin seeds
  • 600 ml vegetable stock
  • 400 ml tin coconut milk
  • sprigs coriander, to garnish
  • 1 cucumber, chopped & deseeded
  • sprigs mint, to garnish

For the rice balls:

  • 500 g thai rice, cooked
  • 125 g roasted peanuts, crushed
  • small bunch coriander, finely chopped
  • black pepper
  • vegetable oil, for deep-frying


Method

1. Preheat the oven to 200ºC/Gas 6.

2. Peel the outer coating from the lemon grass stalks and finely chop the white bulbous part of the stalks, discarding the rest. Remove the tough central veins from the kaffir lime leaves.

3. In a food processor blend together the lemon grass, kaffir lime leaves, ginger, garlic, chillies and lime juice into a smooth paste. Season with salt and freshly ground pepper.

4. Place the chopped pumpkin in an roasting tray, sprinkle with sea salt and toss with 1 tbsp oil. Roast the pumpkin for 35 minutes until softened.

5. While the pumpkin is roasting make the rice balls. In a food processor pulse-blend half of the cooked rice into a paste. Mix together the rice paste, remaining rice, remaining lemon grass paste, peanuts and chopped coriander. Season with salt and freshly ground pepper.

6. Shape the rice mixture into 25mm balls.

7. Heat the oil for deep-frying in a deep fat-fryer or wok. Once the oil is very hot fry the rice balls in batches until golden-brown, remove with a slotted spoon, drain on kitchen paper and set aside to keep warm.

8. To make the soup heat 1 tbsp oil in a heavy-based saucepan. Gently fry the shallots and cumin seeds for 3-5 minutes, then add in half the paste and fry, stirring often, for 5 minutes until fragrant.

9. Add the roast pumpkin to the pan, mixing well, and fry for 2 minutes.

10. Pour in the stock and bring to the boil. Reduce the heat and simmer for 7-8 minutes.

11. Blend together the pumpkin mixture and the coconut milk until smooth. Gently reheat the soup.

12. To serve, ladle the soup into serving bowls and sprinkle with coriander sprigs, chopped cucumber and mint sprigs and serve with rice balls.

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