Category Archives: NEW!

It’s called music, and it’s just as good as therapy

Lately has been an emotional roller coaster. I hate that sensation, although maybe I’m hypocritical about that. I mean, don’t we all like being kept on our toes after all? No one really likes a life that just floats on by… but can we not have too much excitement? Can our heart sometimes just beat a bit too fast, too often? I’m just tired, tired of everything and everyone at the moment. I don’t want to be alone, but as soon as I’m with certain people, I just want to run away. I realise I’m not easy to be around at the moment, I’m insanely angry for some reason, but as soon as I crawl home, I feel a heavy black cloud over my heat… raining on me. There’s nothing really that takes my mind off anything, apart from sleep and music. But even my dreams are plagued by sadness and dissatisfaction. It’s strange, because I should be happy, I have a great job (but not a great salary), great friends, great classes, hope for a better future… but nothing really fills me up with that pure sensation of ecstasy. But I think that my new investments in vinyl equipments, and new comics that I’m working on are good. I’m finding some sort of solace in work. At least something good is coming out of my blues. Anyway, I thought I’d share some songs that I’m listening to at the moment. Not sure if they are uplifting or depressing, but they make me feel good. Or better at least.

1 – Kill Paris – I do love you                                                                                                                                       (Great song, shit lyrics, well you an’t have everything!)

2 – Lipps Inc. – How long                                                                                                                                           (Time to dance around)

3 – West Phillips – Organised desire                                                                                                                     (Wine and West Phillips, sexy as hell)

4 –  Musical Youth – Pass the dutchie                                                                                                                   (Ha, song of my youth!)

5 – Alice Cooper – Poison                                                                                                                                          (Fuck everyone. You’re poison.)

6 – Klangkarussell – Netzwerk (falls like rain)                                                                                                   (Sick tune. Great live.)

7 – John Legend – All of me                                                                                                                                       (Don’t make me cry… again)

8 – Sam Smith – I’m not the only one                                                                                                                   (AMAZING TUNE! Totally how I feel sometimes)

9 – Sam Smith – Stay with me                                                                                                                                  (Same thing, beautifully sung, and so true)

10 – West Phillips – Sucker for a pretty face                                                                                                     (Fucking epic tune, never bored of this one)

11 – David Bowie – Moonage Daydream                                                                                                             (It’s David Fucking Bowie, who doesn’t love this song?)

12 – Cockney Rejects – I’m forever blowing bubbles                                                                                    (Punk+bubbiles, what’s not to like?)

13 – The Weeknd (Kygo remix) – Often                                                                                                             (My song of the summer, perfection, puts me in a great mood every time)

14 – Ed Sheeren (Kygo remix) – I see fire                                                                                                          (Ditto. Beautiful.)


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Filed under Music Baby, NEW!

Perception : ”We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Oscar Wilde

Okie dokes, where to start? Well last night was… an illumination in more ways than one. Firstly… I was pissed. Now don’t get all judgy, I’m a 25 year old adult and segundo I can hold my liquor. So now that my alcohol situation is out of the way, I can start my tirade of anger… or shall I say… rant of realisation. Any how, the finality was that I felt as though I had been mind fucked. Todays subject with be the perception we have of others, and I suppose how they differ to reality.

I have to of course talk about myself before making my final statement (I believe it’s done like that in law). I am perceived, per say, as the happy, bubbly, talkative extrovert who makes friends easily and who apparently seems muy outgoing. This is what I was call a mask. No one in life really walks around crying and screaming I AM DEEPLY UNHAPPY. No. i’m not saying that some people are worse off than others, we are all individuals, with our own problems, hopes, fears… and you can’t make a universal rule stating which problems are more important or less important than others. That said, sure it is commonly agreed… being raped is far worse than… your mother not letting you buy the last GameBoy game. Duh. But… as adults we all have our own issues, and it is important to listen and understand that everyone deals differently with every problem.

What I am talking about is this “mask” we all wear… or in some cases, don’t. I have noticed, and I can say this with authority and confidence, people who usually self harm don’t usually desire for death… they long for someone to notice the signs, and help them. People who truly want death, they don’t usually shut themselves in their room listening to Stiff Little Fingers or Billy Holiday and cutting themselves. Generally unhappy people wear a mask out in their everyday lives and only a fair few know of their true sentiments. I for example, I don’t feel the need or the desire to be pitied. Shit happens. Sometimes nice people get more shit than others. That’s life. I suppose that’s why I have little patience for lazy, childish people who walk around telling anyone who will listen that life is crap, that nothing will every get better. Sometimes it doesn’t get better, but you better try. I honestly believe we are the lucky ones here. We live in Europe, specially me in France. We get FREE HEALTHCARE. This may seem not important, for people with illnesses that are incurable (like moi for ex) this is such a weight of your shoulders. Of course I don’t have money, I’m a student, but I get by. And I don’t have to worry about paying for… headache tablets… or my asthma inhaler or whatever. Let’s look at… Syria… best holiday location ever… right? Come on. Many cities blown to pieces, people dying of hunger, little or no education, no sexual or male/female equality… apart front he bombs going off, they now have an outbreak of Polio! Woo hoo! Doesn’t that put our own problems into perspective? Fuck yeah. Get off your chair and try. Wear a mask if you need to, I’m not saying you have to pretend everything is ok, everyone has their own way of dealing with their own shit… but we don’t have it that bad here!

I mean, look, your ex has broken up with you? Cry. Sceam. Buy clothes. Fuck everything in sight. Buy a dog. Eat McDonalds. Complain. But at some point, it get’s better, there’s no point wallowing in the past. Hating. The worst thing you can do to someone is indifference. I swear, I am able to do this to others but when it’s done to me, I’m broken.

Second example. You failed a class, a years worth of university… whatever. THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.

I suppose what gets me is that, seriously… the only thing you need to worry about is your health and your security. Because to be honest, you only have one life! If you die, who gives a shit that you were dumped, or you failed a class, or your grandfather died? I remember a phrase which I absolutely love from Catcher on the Rye by Salinger, which is :

“Boy, when you’re dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a god dam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you’re dead? Nobody.”

You get me? When you’re dead, there’s fuck all you need or want. So this is why I firmly believe on picking your sorry ass off the ground and shaking off those feelings and trying your best. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but life is worth trying… if you believe it’s worth living.

So, as I was saying about masks… sure, we off give off a vibe or a perception, but i can tell you for a fact, like with anything, when someone is overcompensating… something is wrong. For girls, a guy is too nice to you? He wants to fuck you. A girl is too nice to a guy? She really likes you. A person is always too happy, saying yes all the time? Invite them round for tea. Something is wrong. A friend is always depressed and listening to the misfits and feeling sorry for themselves? Give them a kick up the arse. They need a push.

I realise their are some really unwell people out there, and they obviously need to see a specialist, but this is what the average joe is. This is what life is for most of us lucky ones who don’t live in a place with bombs falling on us, or living with the fear or mass rape, murder, torture… or living somewhere were there is no equality, where access to healthcare and education is unheard of. I suppose I have little patience for people who don’t seize the opportunities given to them, and prefer to stay in the dark.

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Filed under Culture, Games People Play, NEW!, Risk, Sadness, Society, Uncertainty

How Dolly Parton was the first Carrie Bradshaw

I know. It’s been a while since I last wrote. But for my defence I’ve been busy (no really). Anyway, lately I’ve been listening to a lot of country music, and yes I realise it is a sort of cliché (broken hearts, star crossed lovers and the whole “unrequited love” bollocks that you will find in most music genres, but you can deny is most prevalent in the country scene)… but I don’t care. It is still better than listening to techno while nursing a migraine.

You can’t listen to Country music without talking about the famous Dolly Parton (now with her own theme park, I kid you not. It’s called (surprise surprise) Dollyville). I started by listening to Islands in the stream, which is really a great song and the lyrics are really quite good (of course, me behind my computer mending a sort of heart/brain problem, it just made me a but jealous but hey, I can’t call Dolly a bitch can I? Nope.

Here’s the lyrics (at the end), and look closely, that guy really loves her, they’re making “love” and everything. Bitch (sorry Dolly). But it really goes to show that she was really putting herself out there, Carrie Bradshaw? Per-lease, Dolly was shouting all over the world in the 80’s how much she loved her man and that she enjoyed sex. Wonderful. And a mere 20 years later, Carrie was sitting with her friends talking about anal and blow-jobs! So passé my dear, come back and talk about making love, that’s the new BJ of the 21st century. You can’t get away with saying “making love” anymore! I say that, and I’ll be neutered on the spot!

So after Islands in the stream, I went to Jolene. If you can believe it, even better. Now personally, I don’t care for the name of Jolene. I’m not american, and to be honest, I don’t know anyone by the name of Jolene in any case. But hey, I didn’t write the song (if it had been me, I’d called it something like… Pauline… works too!). I’ll put the whole lyrics at the end, but listen to this bit (and yes, this is getting more personal, even though I know this PERSON doesn’t read my blog, know of its existence or even read English, but yes I’m talking about you BIACH!)… “Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene, Im begging of you please don’t take my man”… now I love this line, genius… that said if it was more I wouldn’t say please and I wouldn’t beg either, but hey Dolly’s a far more polite person that myself. She then writes “Please don’t take him just because you can”, and yes I agree, just because you can, don’t. Keep your legs crossed, and sometimes damn it, leave some of the other girls get a guy! This reminds me of a female friend of mine who’s having “boyfriend trouble” (even though in my opinion she is taking everything out of proportion and should wait and see, whatever, I’m happy I’m single (only in the situation though)). She has had… how should I put it, discrepancies in the past (dating guys who were already with girls etc), and I wonder if she is afraid her lover will do the same… the past always comes to bite you in the derrière at some point!) – or is that Karma? Anyway, love that line. She then goes on to say “And I cannot compete with you, jolene”. Now, I am definitely not the most confidant person in the world, but I can’t say she is selling herself short here… that said, I can’t deny that I have felt (and drunkenly said) the same thing. So you go girl, Dolly you’re perfect! At least Dolly’s showing a bit of humility, Jesus, I don’t think I have ever heard Carrie say she has doubts about her physique. She’s always prancing about like some prepubescent girl (I’m not saying I hate Sex and the City, I love it (except the second movie, bad choice… Abu Dhabi… really?)) but seriously she’s far from perfect, she has pretty anorexic arms! And lastly she says “You could have your choice of men, But I could never love again, He’s the only one for me, jolene”. Oh come on, you out there with your hearts of stone, isn’t that just lovely? Now, I don’t know how I feel about a certain someone (so complicated), but I can understand the feeling. No one wants to hear “there are plenty of fish in the sea”, argh. Please. That’s like saying there’s a lot of letters in a can of Alphabetti-Spaghetti. We know. We don’t need whooshing generalities. That said, everyone wants to feel special, and to steal a phrase from old Carrie herself, everyone likes the think that in our life, we have “one great love”. Now, when they come, if they don’t last long, or the passion blows out faster than expected… everyone should have at least one! (and this is where I insert a personal note here, “Ahem. Hello God, person out there, almighty power  (or Powa is your Asian or a teenage girl), Karma, Yahveh,  ‘ilah, Allah, Elohim… whatever, Dude, come on, through me a bone (not a real one please, I’m not a dog), send me something. A guy I can spend a bit of time with, without being fucked about with, playing with my emotions. He doesn’t even have to be the sexiest, or have good taste, look he doesn’t even have to be that intelligent (nothing under 160 IQ ok? Be cool.)… I’m not saying that I’m desperate, or that I’ll take anything… but I’m starting to think it’s me, not guys (even though my parents keep on reassuring me).

That’s it. So ladies (and gentlemen if you are out there and are still reading)… be happy in your own skin, beat the shit out of any boy stealing hag, and believe that you will love again, even after heartbreak (marzipan chocolate helps, i promise).

Islands in the Stream – Dolly Parton 
Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
I was soft inside, there was somethin going on
You do something to me that I can’t explain
Hold me closer and I feel no pain
Every beat of my heart
We got somethin goin on
Tender love is blind
It requires a dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation
We ride it together, ah-ah
Makin love with each other, ah-ah


Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah

I can’t live without you if the love was gone
Everything is nothin if you got no one
And you did walk in tonight
Slowly loosen sight of the real thing

But that wont happen to us and we got no doubt
Too deep in love and we got no way out
And the message is clear
This could be the year for the real thing

No more will you cry
Baby, I will hurt you never
We start and end as one, in love forever
We can ride it together, ah-ah
Makin love with each other, ah-ah

Repeat chorus


Sail away
Oh, come sail away with me

Repeat chorus


Repeat chorus

Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Im begging of you please don’t take my man 
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Please don’t take him just because you can 
Your beauty is beyond compare 
With flaming locks of auburn hair 
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green 
Your smile is like a breath of spring 
Your voice is soft like summer rain 
And I cannot compete with you, jolene 

He talks about you in his sleep 
There’s nothing I can do to keep 
From crying when he calls your name, jolene 

And I can easily understand 
How you could easily take my man 
But you don’t know what he means to me, jolene 

Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Im begging of you please don’t take my man 
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Please don’t take him just because you can 

You could have your choice of men 
But I could never love again 
Hes the only one for me, jolene 

I had to have this talk with you 
My happiness depends on you 
And whatever you decide to do, jolene 

Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Im begging of you please don’t take my man 
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Please don’t take him even though you can 
Jolene, jolene

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Filed under Clichés, Culture, Friends, Games People Play, Men vs. Women, Music, NEW!, Poems, Sex, Society

Fashion Innit ?!

Class by no other word!I realised after 2 years “blogging” (I really hate this term) that I have never EVER written anything about fashion… Now I am no fashion writer, but I suppose in my area (graphic design), if you dress like a weirdo, then you are not booking the client. So, what can I say about fashion?

For me, it is all about quality and a few keys pieces. I will add, that if I was richer, then I would be able to afford tons of clothes, but I am not, so I prefer to cherry pick my favourite brands and pieces. First off, my new obsession… and I mean obsession is “The Orphan Arms”. What I love love LOVE with this brand, is the fact that it is NOT made in China (hurrah!), made by hand and the designs are really what makes Britain! For me, it is not over feminine,  which suits my personality. I don’t wear pink, high heels every day, and I am not a big accessory person either. I like to keep it simple and casual. I usually pair my super cool Orphan Arms sweater, with a nifty little silver necklace, discreet, a pair of skinny jeans (various colours) and a pair of high top sneakers, or ballet flats. With that a lovely duffle coat, old school wooly hat and a scarf my mummy made and voila… here is Roxy’s new look!

For the moment I only have three pieces from them, but bit by bit I shall be adding to the collection!


So go shopping!!! NOW!!!



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Filed under Culture, Europe, Fashion, Happiness, Love, NEW!, Society, UK

Do or Die…

I know what you’re thinking. I’m overreacting (something I know I do pretty often). But I don’t believe that I’m wrong either. In fact. I’m right. 

Sure many of us have dreams, secret desires we sometimes don’t even admit to ourselves, but we all have them. I’ve had a few conversations lately with people who, on paper should be a hundred percent “I’m-so-fucking-happy-my-head-might-explode”; but aren’t. These people are insatiable (and I’m not talking sexually…). They are never satisfied with what they have. But they don’t have to. They are not wrong either. 

For an outsider looking in. I’m more than frustrated with these people. They nit-pick on things that are so not important that to be completely honest, I can’t help but imagine karate chopping their eye brows off… and maybe use nun-chucks on their chest for extra measure. But, they have a right not to be happy, because being unsatisfied is human. If we were 100% happy, most people wouldn’t move, evolve, but in fact would stay still in their little “happy-go-lucky” lifestyle… sitting still while life passed them by. But… these people are entitled to be… happy too (and maybe slightly boring). 

I have a friend, this person is finishing their degree, has a boyfriend, a nice flat, loving parents, friends who would eat off their right arm for them and is beautiful and a lovely person. And yet… they are constantly finding things to complain about. Why? 

Well… I have come to believe that progress comes through never being satisfied with what we have. Desire means… wanting something/someone that someone else has… we always want more. Without desire and hard-work, the USA wouldn’t be the great superpower we have now. It would still have a shitty train system (ok fine… it still has a shitty train system… but at least they have a nice roads). People would still be living on giant plantations in shacks growing cotton and corn. We would still have slavery… and thank fuck… democracy. America isn’t called the “land of opportunity” for nothing. It was build by people who wanted more, not only for themselves but for their descendants. 

We are still the same. So sure, my dream isn’t to have my own piece of land in Georgia and grow cabbage. It isn’t working for White Castle and it definitely isn’t being Miss France/UK. But even if I realise that my life is far than perfect, I still want more. 

Desire is like crack. Once you have some… you can’t help but want just a little bit more… 

Standing Still

That said, when I hear people complain about INSANE and RIDICULOUS things, I can’t help but wonder what the fuck they would do in my shoes. Most people took at the deal they were given, get back on that horse and try. Some people… just sit on their ass… complain and wonder why life is not that great for them. Sure, some people are dealt a really bad hand. Sure, having cancer, being hideous, being handicapped, growing up very poor… etc sucks. But if the cards you were given to start with aren’t great, you have to learn to reshuffle the cards, pick yourself up and try the fuck again. 

That’s why you have to “do or die”. It’s not just about “wanting”… it’s about trying. You might not get everything you wanted out of life, or do everything on that check list we all have at the back of our minds, but at least you try. You also have to take into account the sacrifices you have to make. Let’s take me as an example (not to sound narcissistic… but it would be rude to take someone else). 

Me = I have a degree in history (woo!). I have a family who are fuuuuuckkkinnnngggggg crazy (no really…), but I know that my parents would do anything for me. I have many friends, and a few I know would take a bullet for me. I’m not too hideous (I like to think?). I have enough money to do what I want. I’m not stupid. I am cultured and well travelled…. etc.

So you could say (superficially I realise because I haven’t exactly written very much here), that I should be happy. On most points I’m pretty lucky. But…  I have make sacrifices. I have lived in 3 countries, 5 towns.. and sure by moving around you make tons of friends… but you don’t have (if only rarely) long lasting relationships. So… if my social life, work life etc are great… my “boyfriend’ situation has suffered. Yes, yes I admit it… I have never been in a relationship that has lasted more than 6 months. But I don’t consider myself “unlucky”. A great relationship… is partly… chance (but that’s another issue). Do I complain? 

Fuck yeah I do. But I can. Because I have aspirations too. If I was totally happy with my life… I would be stagnant. I would stay still… unmoving… while everything changed around me. And no way do I want that to happen. If I didn’t “do” anything, I might not “die”. But life wouldn’t be that interesting. It probably should be “do or disappear” since dying is more permanent. So, stop complaining. DO. TRY. MOVE. SHAKE IT OUTTTTTTTTT! 

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Filed under Beginnings!, Friends, Happiness, NEW!, Shut The Fuck Up, Society

Qu’est ce qu’est “Faire l’Amour” ?

Le Baiser - Klimt

Beaucoup ne le sait pas. Sans tombé dans la grivoiserie… comment décrirais – je ce verbe si élusif pour certains, qui pour beaucoup ne figure que dans leurs esprits. Je ne cherche pas à être cru. Je veux chercher à travers l’écriture, certes personnelle, d’arriver à une description apte d’un acte pour certains… indescriptible ? Traitons notre dilemme en poésie contemporaine, en prose…

Tout commence par un regard, un effleurement de la peau, une caresse impromptue,
L’attente de chaque touchée, interminable, atroce, 

Une respiration qui oscille entre un va – et – vient corporel,  

Sensation d’intemporalité prend soudaine le couple,
Danse charnelle, pas de regles, humaine, animal, 

Peu – à – peu les sens s’électrifient et le coeur s’emballe,
Du haut en bas et de bas en haut le sang jailli, attends,

Osmose émotionnel, plus de regrets, plus de haine, que du plaisir,

Catharsis total. 

What do you think ?

intemporel hors du temps

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Filed under NEW!, Poems

Inimitable, Atypique, Anomalie, Unique… Moi !

I apologise for all those who don’t speak French, but I am in a very good mood… why? Who knows, but I like to spread the happiness, and I am of the opinion that French is the language I desire to write in today (lucky I’m half French then isn’t it?)

So, commençons !

Lorsqu’on te demande de te décrire. Que dis tu ? J’ai pris la décision de vraiment parler de moi pour ce poste. Peu de gens le savent, mais je ne suis certainement pas un livre ouvert. Je suis honnête, ce que tu vois, est souvent ce que je pense et que je suis, mais au fond, on cache toujours quelques petites particules de note veritable “Être”. Pour beaucoup, ce sont les timides, ceux qui parle peu ou pas, qui cache leur jeu… mais en réalité, ce n’est pas de ceux qu’il faut se méfier ! Je ne peux que parler pour moi, et de mon propre experience, mais j’estime ayant pas mal voyagé, et étant de nature partante pour essayer tout au moins une fois… que je commence à connaître ce qui est l’homme… même si je sais que je n’ai que fais une égratignure à la surface. Je sais qui je suis. Je le dis haut et fort.


Etre sur de cela me permet peu – à – peu à ne pas trop attarder sur ceux qui me dont mal. Qui refuse ce que je suis, ce que je peux donner, et finalement ce que je represente. Je ne suis pas comme tout les autres. On me le dis. Et on me le répète. Ce serait tout de même pompeux de ma part, de croire que je suis seule à penser cela, car au fond, dans le monde dans laquelle nous vivons, nous sommes tous unique… et nous somme tous pareil notre notre façon d’être unique. Que sont ceux qui se démarque vraiment ? Comment savoir si nous le sommes ? Je pense savoir.


Ceux qui sont véritablement différente le savent, au fond de leur âme qui le sont. Je ne parle ni de la maniere de s’habiller, ni de ceux qui se donne des airs en buvant de l’absinthe au bord d’une rivière, chapeau melon à leurs cotés et un spliff dans l’autre main. L’individualité ce n’est pas ceux que l’on pointe du doigt dans la rue car leur apparence choque notre état d’âme, ni ceux que l’on entend parler d’art et de politique comme si cela aller être eux qui aller refaire une utopie dans un monde comme la notre, où à chaque carrefour on voit ce qui est un univers à la fois gigantesque et désastreuse.

Ceux qui sont au sommet de l’atypique sont ceux que tu croises peut-être deux ou trois fois dans ta vie, que tu trouve banale, ou même étrange au premier abord… mais que dés que tu fasses l’effort de creuser un peu plus dans ce qu’on appelle “l’intimité de chacun” on réalise qu’on à trouver une perle rare, une perle peut-être disgracieuse au premier regard… peut-être qui manque d’uniformité… qui ne brille pas comme les autres… mais qui te transperce le coeur avec un javelot… te figes où tu te trouves.

C’est en quelque sorte ce qui est l’amour. L’amour ce n’est pas pour moi un sentiment comme on pourrait le penser. La colère, c’est la colère. La haine… n’est qu’un sentiment parmi d’autre… l’amour… c’est un assemblage de tout les sentiments. Lorsqu’on aime… on est également heureux, en colère parfois… jaloux… on est un puzzle de sentiments. L’amour… c’est en réalité la recherche d’une personne, que l’on ne connaît pas encore, ou qu’on connaît… mais si pour certains l’amour leur “tombe sur la tête”… ce n’est pas totalement vrai… l’amour c’est la recherche d’un certain nombre de choses qui ne sont pas totalement quantifiable. Parfois on ne sait pas ce qu’on cherche, mais lorsqu’on la trouvé… on en est sur.

l’individualité c’est un peu comme cela. Un premier rencontre n’est pas determinant. Ce que beaucoup oublie, c’est qu’il y a une multitude de “choses” qui font que telle ou telle rencontre est une réussite ou non. Je ne peux plus compter le nombre de fois on ma dis “Oh ben ta copine… je ne l’aime pas!”. Plus tard… lors d’une autre rencontre… elle peut être plus réussite. Pourquoi ? De nos jours, la veritable individualité ils ne voient pas. On ne peut jamais juger un livre par sa couverture. Pourquoi ferons – nous pareil avec les personnes que nous croisons ?

Je ne peux savoir. Mais je sais qui je suis. Je suis historienne. J’aime fouiller. J’aime découvrir ce que fais vibrer les gens. Je veux connaître le plus de choses possible et le plus de gens possible. Si la vie est un chemin à parcourir, je veux le faire avec les autres.

J’ai des regrets. J’ai fais des erreurs, mais je pense qu’il faut donner plus de chances aux gens, car tout n’est pas entre nos mains. Pour certains, la part des choses qui n’est pas dans notre controle, c’est Dieu qui le détient… pour d’autres… c’est autrui. Pour moi, c’est le hasard. Ne laissons pas le hasard dicter notre vie, il faut lorsqu’on est déçu, remonter sur ce cheval métaphorique, et re-tenter de comprendre l’autre.

Vous allez peut-être me demander ce qui à prompter ce blog. Ce serait difficile d’en parler sans que cette personne sache que je parle, d’eux. Mais si je peux être plus sommaire dans ma pensée, je pense que cet individu pourrait bien s’entendre avec moi, mais je suis déçu de la manière que nous avons passé du temps ensemble… ce n’était que peu propice à la découverte d’autrui… et j’ai peur d’avoir perdu cette personne à jamais. Pourquoi ? Car nous, l’être humain tel qu’il ait… aime jouer.. jouer avec l’autre c’est son passe-temps favori… et cette bête est parfois trop fière pour creuser au plus profond de l’autre pour savoir ce qui ne va pas.

Je termine donc avec une idée fixe de ce que je fois faire. Donner une chance ultime d’autrui, que lui aussi, tout comme moi, doit faire d’avantage d’effort dans la recherche de l’individualité de chacun. Tout le monde sait, combien de fois on me la dis, que je ne suis vraiment pas comme les autres. Il y en a vraiment qu’une Roxane ? Tu m’étonnes que mes parents ne voulais que faire un enfant, il me faut des hommes et des femmes fortes pour comprendre ce que je suis. Beaucoup abandonne. D’autres savent qu’il y a au bout du chemin quelqu’un de peut-être fantastique. Tout comme tout le monde est.

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