Category Archives: Poems

How Dolly Parton was the first Carrie Bradshaw

I know. It’s been a while since I last wrote. But for my defence I’ve been busy (no really). Anyway, lately I’ve been listening to a lot of country music, and yes I realise it is a sort of cliché (broken hearts, star crossed lovers and the whole “unrequited love” bollocks that you will find in most music genres, but you can deny is most prevalent in the country scene)… but I don’t care. It is still better than listening to techno while nursing a migraine.

You can’t listen to Country music without talking about the famous Dolly Parton (now with her own theme park, I kid you not. It’s called (surprise surprise) Dollyville). I started by listening to Islands in the stream, which is really a great song and the lyrics are really quite good (of course, me behind my computer mending a sort of heart/brain problem, it just made me a but jealous but hey, I can’t call Dolly a bitch can I? Nope.

Here’s the lyrics (at the end), and look closely, that guy really loves her, they’re making “love” and everything. Bitch (sorry Dolly). But it really goes to show that she was really putting herself out there, Carrie Bradshaw? Per-lease, Dolly was shouting all over the world in the 80’s how much she loved her man and that she enjoyed sex. Wonderful. And a mere 20 years later, Carrie was sitting with her friends talking about anal and blow-jobs! So passé my dear, come back and talk about making love, that’s the new BJ of the 21st century. You can’t get away with saying “making love” anymore! I say that, and I’ll be neutered on the spot!

So after Islands in the stream, I went to Jolene. If you can believe it, even better. Now personally, I don’t care for the name of Jolene. I’m not american, and to be honest, I don’t know anyone by the name of Jolene in any case. But hey, I didn’t write the song (if it had been me, I’d called it something like… Pauline… works too!). I’ll put the whole lyrics at the end, but listen to this bit (and yes, this is getting more personal, even though I know this PERSON doesn’t read my blog, know of its existence or even read English, but yes I’m talking about you BIACH!)… “Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene, Im begging of you please don’t take my man”… now I love this line, genius… that said if it was more I wouldn’t say please and I wouldn’t beg either, but hey Dolly’s a far more polite person that myself. She then writes “Please don’t take him just because you can”, and yes I agree, just because you can, don’t. Keep your legs crossed, and sometimes damn it, leave some of the other girls get a guy! This reminds me of a female friend of mine who’s having “boyfriend trouble” (even though in my opinion she is taking everything out of proportion and should wait and see, whatever, I’m happy I’m single (only in the situation though)). She has had… how should I put it, discrepancies in the past (dating guys who were already with girls etc), and I wonder if she is afraid her lover will do the same… the past always comes to bite you in the derrière at some point!) – or is that Karma? Anyway, love that line. She then goes on to say “And I cannot compete with you, jolene”. Now, I am definitely not the most confidant person in the world, but I can’t say she is selling herself short here… that said, I can’t deny that I have felt (and drunkenly said) the same thing. So you go girl, Dolly you’re perfect! At least Dolly’s showing a bit of humility, Jesus, I don’t think I have ever heard Carrie say she has doubts about her physique. She’s always prancing about like some prepubescent girl (I’m not saying I hate Sex and the City, I love it (except the second movie, bad choice… Abu Dhabi… really?)) but seriously she’s far from perfect, she has pretty anorexic arms! And lastly she says “You could have your choice of men, But I could never love again, He’s the only one for me, jolene”. Oh come on, you out there with your hearts of stone, isn’t that just lovely? Now, I don’t know how I feel about a certain someone (so complicated), but I can understand the feeling. No one wants to hear “there are plenty of fish in the sea”, argh. Please. That’s like saying there’s a lot of letters in a can of Alphabetti-Spaghetti. We know. We don’t need whooshing generalities. That said, everyone wants to feel special, and to steal a phrase from old Carrie herself, everyone likes the think that in our life, we have “one great love”. Now, when they come, if they don’t last long, or the passion blows out faster than expected… everyone should have at least one! (and this is where I insert a personal note here, “Ahem. Hello God, person out there, almighty power  (or Powa is your Asian or a teenage girl), Karma, Yahveh,  ‘ilah, Allah, Elohim… whatever, Dude, come on, through me a bone (not a real one please, I’m not a dog), send me something. A guy I can spend a bit of time with, without being fucked about with, playing with my emotions. He doesn’t even have to be the sexiest, or have good taste, look he doesn’t even have to be that intelligent (nothing under 160 IQ ok? Be cool.)… I’m not saying that I’m desperate, or that I’ll take anything… but I’m starting to think it’s me, not guys (even though my parents keep on reassuring me).

That’s it. So ladies (and gentlemen if you are out there and are still reading)… be happy in your own skin, beat the shit out of any boy stealing hag, and believe that you will love again, even after heartbreak (marzipan chocolate helps, i promise).

Islands in the Stream – Dolly Parton 
Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
I was soft inside, there was somethin going on
You do something to me that I can’t explain
Hold me closer and I feel no pain
Every beat of my heart
We got somethin goin on
Tender love is blind
It requires a dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation
We ride it together, ah-ah
Makin love with each other, ah-ah


Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah

I can’t live without you if the love was gone
Everything is nothin if you got no one
And you did walk in tonight
Slowly loosen sight of the real thing

But that wont happen to us and we got no doubt
Too deep in love and we got no way out
And the message is clear
This could be the year for the real thing

No more will you cry
Baby, I will hurt you never
We start and end as one, in love forever
We can ride it together, ah-ah
Makin love with each other, ah-ah

Repeat chorus


Sail away
Oh, come sail away with me

Repeat chorus


Repeat chorus

Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Im begging of you please don’t take my man 
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Please don’t take him just because you can 
Your beauty is beyond compare 
With flaming locks of auburn hair 
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green 
Your smile is like a breath of spring 
Your voice is soft like summer rain 
And I cannot compete with you, jolene 

He talks about you in his sleep 
There’s nothing I can do to keep 
From crying when he calls your name, jolene 

And I can easily understand 
How you could easily take my man 
But you don’t know what he means to me, jolene 

Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Im begging of you please don’t take my man 
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Please don’t take him just because you can 

You could have your choice of men 
But I could never love again 
Hes the only one for me, jolene 

I had to have this talk with you 
My happiness depends on you 
And whatever you decide to do, jolene 

Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Im begging of you please don’t take my man 
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene 
Please don’t take him even though you can 
Jolene, jolene


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Filed under Clichés, Culture, Friends, Games People Play, Men vs. Women, Music, NEW!, Poems, Sex, Society

Qu’est ce qu’est “Faire l’Amour” ?

Le Baiser - Klimt

Beaucoup ne le sait pas. Sans tombé dans la grivoiserie… comment décrirais – je ce verbe si élusif pour certains, qui pour beaucoup ne figure que dans leurs esprits. Je ne cherche pas à être cru. Je veux chercher à travers l’écriture, certes personnelle, d’arriver à une description apte d’un acte pour certains… indescriptible ? Traitons notre dilemme en poésie contemporaine, en prose…

Tout commence par un regard, un effleurement de la peau, une caresse impromptue,
L’attente de chaque touchée, interminable, atroce, 

Une respiration qui oscille entre un va – et – vient corporel,  

Sensation d’intemporalité prend soudaine le couple,
Danse charnelle, pas de regles, humaine, animal, 

Peu – à – peu les sens s’électrifient et le coeur s’emballe,
Du haut en bas et de bas en haut le sang jailli, attends,

Osmose émotionnel, plus de regrets, plus de haine, que du plaisir,

Catharsis total. 

What do you think ?

intemporel hors du temps

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Filed under NEW!, Poems

Stop Playing Games and Roll the Dice!


Green Light? Or Red Light? When the fuck do I go?

Ok, that’s not exactly what I’m talking about. But it is I must say, along the same vein… I think by now, you, my very few readers have at least gotten to know me a bit better… and you must have at least realised that I am a “no nonsense kinda gal”. Actually, scrap that, I am a girl, no woman and I always want the best, and don’t usually say no for an answer. I am an independent do-it-yourself-or-shut-the-fuck-up kinda girl/woman. I’m the girl who knows usually what she wants, and tries her best to get it. No one would deny that I am not passionate. It is one of the first thing people notice about me (at least when I’m talking about something I am interested in). I’m also realistic. And as sad as it is to admit it, I’m afraid readers… for those who haven’t met me, I’m not Scarlett Johansson… sadly! I’m not an ugly herring either… so don’t start imagining me as some Susan Boyle lookalike. My eyebrows are perfectly plucked, and I take care of myself… I am however not super thin. I know, but for my defence… I spend most of my time in front of my computer… reading… and well I hate most sports (at least the ones you do alone!) 

Ha sorry for the crude joke, but it was too easy. In any case. Let’s get to the point of this post :

Men playing games or shall I say “mind games”. Now don’t get me wrong, most women apparently do this. I don’t. I seriously have no idea how to play these games. I’m the talkative funny girl, not the mysterious blond woman in the corner who sips on vermouth and bats her eyelashes in a mans direction. Nope. when I’m interested, I’m more or likely going to tell you at some point… or get drunk and watch you flirt with other girls until I crawl crying home with a one night stand on my arm (ok not ALL the time, but sometimes a least!). I’m not proud of everything I’ve done… but in my case, I attract guys I am not interested in, I think because I show little interest… but because I am not a bitch, I talk to these guys anyway. Not because I want to dance the naked dance with them under the sheets, but in fact because, well why not talk to somebody? I love talking to people. I talk all the time. To everyone. Problem is… I’m thinking that guys actually want girls who are more “unavailable” to them. 

I’m totally serious. If I think back. All the guys I’ve treated like shit. Ignored. Insulted… have all come back! Seriously… I have even dumped someone DURING sex. Yes. Yes I admit it. (for my defence, he was very very bad, and I was tired and had really had enough of him telling me how awesome he was… the result now, is that he calls me twice a month wanting to go out for a drink. Don’t you think he would have got the message by now? Well apparently not.) Now while that was not my proudest moment it does prove one thing. 

Guys want girls they can’t get. They want a mountain to climb. They want it hard, and the don’t want it fast. 


Now I will also concede that if a guy really really likes you, he “will-make-it-happen”, no matter what. But, what happens to all the other guys who likea girl, but are not really fussed/crazy about her yet/not sure etc.? I mean… not all guys are crazy about a girl in the beginning, I can “totes” get that. But seriously… what I don’t understand… why would a guy talk to you every time you go online… then not speak to you (or reply to the super cute email you send them!) and then ask you out on a date? I’m getting very mixed signals. I’m not sure if he likes me… or likes me not ! How very 17th century I am! (don’t worry I won’t start reciting poetry!) 

He Loves Me… He Loves Me Not… He Loves Me… He Loves Me Not… He Loves Me… He Loves Me Not… He Loves Me… He Loves Me Not…

So… when do we know when a man’s playing a game or when he’s not interested? I think it’s hard to say. I suppose we women should stop over analysing every thing a guy does. Take the plunge, do what feels natural, even if a bit of mystery never hurt anyone! I honestly believe that you should go on dates. Ask a guy out, try new things. But be honest. If after 2 days, you are still not sure, then ask the guy! No one wants to waste their time! So I say, take control… you roll the dice and see what happens! (and maybe listen to that Finley Quay Song “Dice” too!) 

Roll the Dice!

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Filed under Clichés, Culture, Games People Play, Hate!, Love, Men vs. Women, Poems, Sex, Society, Uncertainty

Fuck Buddies & the Art of Seduction


I wasn’t exactly sure how to start this post but I suppose that I’ll start from a more general view to a more precise one. It may seem like a rather selfish or at least narcissistic post BUT we have to inspire ourselves from somewhere, and my life seems to be pretty eclectic. So I’m starting from there.

I’m single, and while I may be perceive as “alone”, I am in fact not. Millions… no tens and thousands of millions of the world’s population is single. So if I were to be pedantic, being single isn’t such a lonely place to be right now! Now, with all that optimism out of the way, let’s go full steam ahead to the sad and rather depressing truth (unless it’s not and then I apologise).

Sex. Sex. Sex. Makes the world  go round. Yep. It’s true. Sex is literally everywhere. It’s in your magazines, tv’s and in the street. Sex is used to sell absolutely anything. As they say in the business, “Sex sells”. Now, I’m no angel, for the people who know me, sex is something I talk about, know about… and shock horror… have done! I think we have all surpassed the age where sex is this “big deal”… and yet it still occupies our every thought (apparently). Now I can understand that those having regular sex don’t miss it… and I can obviously relate to those not having it and wishing they were… but I have a nagging question.

Is anonymous sex that great? Really?

As a test, I signed myself up on an online dating site. Now, I am not a journalist (yet?!) but I believe that through all good journalism, you have to put your money where your mouth is. So I have (and a lot of online time too I might add!). I put up a recent photo… described myself accurately (to the best of my ability of course) and waited. Now, I wasn’t looking for a date/hook-up/boyfriend etc. So I thought it was only fair to wait for the guys to come to me. Like a horse to water so to speak. And, come they did! I can say for someone who doesn’t have great self appreciation, that it was an incredible pick me up! I received in the space of a month about… 117 emails… all asking for me! BUT, may I add a few interesting issues came up as well.

While many were very respectful, with mails which to summarize said “Hello my name is _________ .  I think you are ___________ . Would you like to swap emails and talk?/Would you like to talk something? etc” Many were also very much different. I did get one email saying that I was “not attractive”… but I’m going to say that he was absolutely hideous… and 45 years old (so I think he should know better than insult a 22 year old girl! It seems sad to be honest). In any case, as well as the nice and pleasant I was surprised to get a fair few emails from let’s say an “older generation” of men, and ladies and gentlemen… I am not talking about the 35 year old guy who’s still single and a bit bored on a friday night… I am in fact talking about over 45 year old (mostly really unattractive) men. I’m not saying middle-aged men are unattractive… don’t get me wrong! I do like the older man from time to time (cf : apple guy (those of view who know me well may know what I’m talking about)) but these guys were… total sleaze balls. Today I got from a long haired, ugly 45 year old man with 2 children an email saying the following (I have edited) :

“I am looking for a not too ugly girl for the evening and more if I like you. Interested? Kisses. ______ .”

Seriously? This is insane! It’s basically prostitution, and what baffles me… is that he thinks I could actually be interested. I may not be any sex bomb à la Marilyn Monroe… but I definitely am NOT some anorexic spotty crack whore! Argh I shudder at the thought of this man caressing anything but his own arm! Argh! And this guy is not alone! If I look back at the messaged I have received… I noticed that many… and many ask for what can only be fuck buddies. For those of you not familiar with this “modern” term… I have enlisted the help of the internet based dictionary fashionable with many the young pubescent teen… “Urban Dictionary”. Here is what they have to say on the subject :


Urban Dictionary

I have only given the first two definitions, but I think they suffice.

Now, for those who know me, like I have said previously… I’m not a foreigner to the concept. We have all done it at least once in our lives, but the point I am trying to make… is why is it literally everywhere now? There seems to be more people looking for fuck buddies now that actual meaningful relationships. I’m not a giant romantic. I am not a fan of soppy poetry and being serenaded. Trust me. But come on, who doesn’t want a hug and a kiss when you get back from work? Who doesn’t want to know that they are cared and loved? I mean sure… carnal pleasure is good… no scrap that… sex is great. But, without being corny… sex really is better when you “love/care/enjoy being with” that person. I wish there was less sex and more… sex and love going on.

Anyway, “the art of seduction”. Where has is gone anyway? I mean… seriously… let’s say I was hypothetically looking for an easy fuck… do you think emailing me (or coming up to me in a bar) an telling me something around the lines of “Hey babe, I like yo ass, I like yo body… so you wanna dance horizontally”, is going to get you in my pants?

I’m not suggesting in anyway that being romantic and lying is better… I just think there’s a better way IF that is what you want. I mean, no one meets the love of their life in a bar wearing a low cut top and 6 inch heels… but you don’t either by saying lines like that! All I am looking forward to, is when people asked you out on dates. People are so starved for a smidgen of romance that nowadays telling a woman her “ass is out of this world” is going to work! How depressing is that? I want a guy to tell me he thinks I’m beautiful, that I’m a bright young woman and that yes, he would like to bump uglies in the future with me… but that he would like to take me out for coffee/dinner/a movie first.  Am I asking for a lot?

No? I didn’t think so. We are worth so much more. Maybe we have lowered our standards… or maybe I’m just too old school…

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Filed under Culture, Fashion, Happiness, Orgasm, Poems, Politics, Sex, Spicy!

Hey-ku… No I Mean Haiku!

Ok well today I was thinking of poetry and decided I would write a Haiku. 🙂

I know I am French,
But I don’t eat escargot,
So who am I now?


Yes I know applaud applaud!!! Ha ha ha, more of my literary brilliance to come!

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Filed under Europe, France, Love, Poems

Le Pianist…

This is a poem I wrote quite a while ago, but I have rewritten and published here. It’s in french… for those who can understand!

Chaque note qu’il jouait, tombée comme une larme sur mon visage,
Rappelant à jamais le tourment et la douleur du passé.

Il remplissait la salle avec sa musique, si étouffante, que je mourais,
Peu à peu je me libérais; un catharsis hybride…

Chaque instant que je le voyais, je le désirais, je le voulais.
Sa musique me faisais vibrer.
Les gouttes de sueur et les larmes se mêlaient sur mon visage.
Figée…il ne l’était pas, nous nous completons..

Ses mains sur le clavier semblaient danser devant mes yeux,
M’entraînaient dans une sorte de transe; une transe à l’infini,
Toujours sous le charme de cette amour musical, ses notes magiques.

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