Category Archives: Sorry

I’m just gunna say it how it is

This will be a post that not many will agree on. They may be just as many, hopefully more that will agree with me on. Let’s hope you are enlightened people. I hope you are. If not, well that’s sad. I want to tell you to kinda of fuck off then… but I won’t, because I believe that you have a right to have an opinion… but people with the wrong opinions, well I don’t like you. I really don’t like you.

Abortion is a right. A fucking right. Your right to picket abortion clinics? No. Shut the fuck up. Write an angry letter to your political official. Start an angry blog. Hey, write your own suicide note in your own blood telling the world how you feel these women are murdering babies. Go on. Do that. In your own home. But don’t make a hard decision harder. You can’t understand until you’ve been in that situation… you can emphasise of course. No one wants to be in a situation like that, but sometimes you make a mistake, something goes wrong. But hell, I don’t want to bring a child into a world where I can’t buy clothes for it. Can’t afford to feed it. I want that child to have everything I didn’t have and more. Your child is the embodiment of the love you have for someone else, or maybe is this being you created out of pure love. That’s a child. You want its happiness. How is bringing a child into a world where all it will know is sadness, poverty and discomfort? I don’t want that. I don’t even want that for my enemies. Do I want children? Sure. I’m an only child. I grew up alone. I like being alone, but I wished as a child for someone to play with. I wish I had a big brother to protect me when I fuck up. I want someone to be there when my parents die, and hold my hand because they understand. But I’m alone. So that’s probably why I act strong. Some say bitchy and outspoken… maybe. But I also know deep down, that I came into this world alone… and I will die alone, so I pick myself up when everything seems to fuck up around me. I want a child, because one day, maybe I’ll be so in love with someone, that I want to create something with that person… a little someone that will one day find a love of their own. Because I know that when I find that someone, and I’ll look into their eyes, they will want the same thing from me. But it will be a choice. Because a child is sort of having a tattoo on your face… you have to be bloody sure you want it. There’s sort of no “backsies”. And that’s why abortion is important. The right to decide when you create this being, and with who. Sometimes you make a child, and you fall out of love… that happens. But that child was created, hopefully at a time of love… sure there are exceptions… there are those people who don’t care. They make babies coz they don’t know what else to do. Maybe it’s expected of them. Who knows. But the right to say no, as a woman is my choice. Sex is fun. No, with the right person, the right chemistry. It’s flipping amazing… but I don’t want to live in fear that every time I am with a guy a baby might be created. Use a condom… go on the pill… whatever works for you. But sometimes mistakes happen. It brakes. You forgot. You may be raped. Who wants to bring up a rapists baby? Have a constant reminder of a horrible moment in your existence? Who wants a father who is an unknown rapist? No one. No one can live with that.

Bringing a child into a world or an environment that is not ready, is not “saving a child”… it’s actually selfish… because you have brought a human being into a world that it won’t thrive or grow in. If you have every read any of Darwin’s books, you will be familiar with his world changing theory of evolution (which isn’t just a theory, it’s fucking reality “SAY NO TO CREATIONISTS YOU MORONS”… and yes I’m looking at you America!)… which means you know all about natural selection. Natural selection is technically no longer applicable to humans, owing to advances in medicine, but it still works on a social and anthropological level. Why do people who start life in richer families generally succeed better? (there are obviously exceptions, I mean look at Albert Camus for starters, but there are many… but rarer). With money, sadly comes opportunities. With opportunities, comes better schools, education, travelling… etc. it opens the child to a better job… a broader mind… better access to food and healthcare etc. This isn’t always true, but it is undeniable that it is a major factor. But it helps. So, if I take myself as an example. I’m a 25 year old student. I finish my studies in about a year and a half. I don’t have a job. I have a small flat. I can barely look after myself… let along a tiny human being. When I want a child, I want to be able to buy it nappies. Food. Whatever. I want it to go to a good school. Get a great job. Meet someone that makes them laugh and smile. I want them to be happy. Can I make a child happy now? Nope. So yes, if I get pregnant now. I’m having an abortion. Yes it hurts. Yes I don’t want to have to make that decision, but if I have to I will… because abortion isn’t murder. Abortion is about making the right choice at the right moment. Bring a child into a world that it can thrive in. Because unlike animals, the weak ones don’t just die… they poison your whole life. It’s sort of like being born with a thorn in your foot. You can still walk, but it fucking hurts. Being born to someone who can’t give a child all it needs, is the same. It won’t always thrive, it will eventually sort of go gangrenous and won’t be the best it could be. It takes someone who is born into hardship to say fuck you and pick themselves up. Look at the people who are born with too much money, or too much love and fuck up because they don’t have the fear to pick themselves up and sort themselves up. Life is about balance. It’s about trying your best to be the best you can, not just for you, but for the people you love and respect.


So, make the right choices… because that’s sort of what life is about. But it’s your life. So you make the choices that are the best for you. Don’t attach a rock to foot and jump into the deep end. Jump into the water with armbands on. It’s better to float than sink.

I dedicate this post to CB. Who always talks to me straight. No bullshit. And who always makes the best choices, even when I can’t, they aways give me the benefit of the doubt, and doesn’t judge me when I do go down the wrong road. Thanks.


Leave a comment

Filed under Choice, Culture, Family, Friends, Happiness, Hate!, Hello?, Love, Politics, Risk, Sadness, Sex, Shut The Fuck Up, Society, Sorry, The future, USA

I spy with my little eye, something beginning with “C”… haven’t got it ? Okay… it’s a cheater !

Now, I am not one to comment on “gossip”, mainly because I like to think it’s beneath me (but who’s kidding, nothing is really beneath human nature). But, since I am a “woman of the world”, I shall comment on a “new fashion” shall I say?


I am lucky enough to come from a non divorced background, so I have (as some psychologists say) a good chance of recreating this same “mating pattern”, or at least be more optimistic about finding “true love” and what comes with that particular territory. In any case, my values have always been that you should not do to others what you wouldn’t do to yourself. In this case, I shall not fuck myself over, and thus not fuck others over. And so is my mantra. I am definitely not perfect (my bank account can credit to that statement), but in a lot of domaines, I have (sadly) sacrificed sometimes short “pleasures” (shall we say) for the greater good (or for my own self respect and/or better prospects) in the search for “something better”. Now… true, I will admit to never (yes NEVER) being in a LOOOOOOONG term relationship. No. Not me. Oh well. But, for my defence, I travel a bit too much, I’m very choosy and… I know that I’m worth more than just a “guy” to keep me entertained. Being very independent doesn’t always help either. I’m an only child (thus accustomed to my own company for long periods of time), and also fairly bright (I have been told?!)… and as a feminist, I know that a woman shouldn’t settle for any old “joe”. I have always said that you should do good, and not being religious (my defence being that religion has caused many more deaths (through history) than saved and that I don’t need God to live my life) I do (sort of) believe in “karma”… in that if you do good, you get good in your life (nothing is 100% obviously) and if you do bad, there is a sort of… balance…

Let’s get back on point.

I don’t want to give the example which influenced my desire to post on this topic (for the second time no doubt!) but cheating seems to be back with a vengeance. Many in the press say that the victim is “humiliated”. But I can’t help but say… really? It isn’t “him/her” that is… I would hold my head up high, yes I was cuckolded… but… I am not the one who did bad… so why should I run? I mean cry, sure, shout a bit, swear, scream… go for it, but no way would I feel humiliated or ashamed. For one thing, I’d probably go and get myself 2 or 3 bottles of whisky, a couple of bottles of diet coke and a game of Twister, invite some friends over, but on some Queen tracks and get drunk. I’d try and smile, I’d make a few fart jokes and watch some trashy TV. I think I’d also do some internet shopping (you know… ahem to… feel good…). All I can say, is the importance is actually to be the victim and not the cheater… because the victim always has their morals, and when you’re single, it’s better to have them that be on the dating scene where everyone knows you’re a cheater (who want’s to date someone who they know is going to cheat on them?).

So, to end I shall send a mini warning :

“If you cheat, be prepared to feel like shit”


Leave a comment

Filed under Clichés, Europe, Hate!, Men vs. Women, Risk, Sadness, Society, Sorry, UK, USA

Coeur Partagé… Love is a Game of Poker !

Yes yes I know, it’s in French. I’ll translate. It means “a heart divided”. But what does it really mean to have a heart in more than one place? But not only two places… but two people?

Love. Say it really slowly to yourself. L-O-V-E. What is it? Sure we can look up a definition. But how does that really help us? But… as I am an extremely kind person, I shall go fetch a definition so we can thus compare it to one we will create… or rather I will give. As a disclamer, I think I should mention that I am not a doctor/sexologist/therapist but a simple human being who likes a good… perspective on things… or to talk to the unknown!

Anyway, back to our dictionary definition of “love” : Here is the Collins Online Dictionary’s Definition for your pleasure of course !

Dictionaries Baby... They're Cool Innit!?

So… ladies and gentlemen… what does this exactly convey to us… the general public so to speak?

To me at least. Nothing. This doesn’t say anything about the passion and anguish one can feel for another person. It doesn’t talk about the absolute pain to see a loved one hurt… or the hours spent at their bedside if they are ill… or even the time and effort to find that perfect gift.  We don’t learn anything either about the person.

What I find strange is that dictionaries give a general definition without saying stressing that a feeling, an emotion… is purely and utterly personal. That there are intensities of love and passion. That love is in fact different for everyone. Which is probably why all “good” psychologists tell us that “communication” is the best way to keep a relationship alive (for me sex I believe is enough… see previous blog posts!). But… in our day and age… while we all concentrate on buying, fucking and making money… what has happened to the day old quest for love? Now… we could say that rescuing maidens on ones horse is past its sell-by-date… and yeah sure, you’re right. I know…. but as I have already noticed… it’s not exactly as though internet dating is going to get us anywhere. If a guy isn’t upright asking for sex… he’s doing it slyly… or laying! Woo hoo! I’m not surprised that the 9th definition affiliates “love and sex” and the same thing! Ha! No wonder men say “I love you” so soon nowadays! We all know that love+sex is better…. than sex+sex… but… where is the love? (to parody the Black Eyes Peas!)

For those who don’t want anything corny. You have come to the right place. Because… I’m not the one who’s for long walks on the beach… pina coladas and music by Bryan Addams! No thank you! But I do understand the whole “heart divided”. What are we to do in a world… where we meet so many new people… new places… How can I have enough space to love the ones I want to love? I think… the only way to make at least a bit of space, is to forget the people you hate, have hurt you… or caused you pain in the past. No one needs to be reminded of personal pain. So… put that in the bin! Go… do it now!

Bye Bye!

Now that that’s done… we have to mention that there are different types of love… love for a parent, a friend… a lover (if you’re lucky!)… a pet… a place… a particular memory… Sometimes we get lost in ourselves… but I want to believe that I can share the love. Why should we have to regret that we may love more than one person? We should in fact be happy that we are lucky enough to love and have loved! Loving two people at once isn’t a crime! The crime… the crime if there was one would maybe to cause pain to the people that we do love! So let’s…. not divide our hearts just yet…. but in fact put all the pieces together… like a puzzle… and hope that they all fit together.

Love… is in my opinion the only emotion that is every single one we humans can in fact feel. Love causes anger, sadness, happiness… anguish… everything… so should we be celebrating this “all purpose” emotion? Yes… yes we should… because even if it can cause pain… the benefits are so much better. Love is a dangerous game of poker… but you keep n risking it all because… because you can sometimes win big. Real big. But maybe hold up on the bluffing… no one likes a lier in love!

Love is a game of poker.


Leave a comment

Filed under Beginnings!, Culture, Friends, Happiness, Hate!, Love, Men vs. Women, Orgasm, Politics, Sadness, Sex, Society, Sorry


Just a short post to apologise to the many readers I have (ok fine, the “few” readers I have). I’m sorry i haven’t written in a while, but in my defence I did just move back to France and well… get used to “normal” life again. In any case, from now on I will write with more regularity.



Leave a comment

Filed under Europe, France, Sorry