Disclaimer…

Short post because I got an email from UKTV FOOD (wow is that an honour?)… complaining that I used a recipe without telling you all it’s on the site. So here it is…

Some recipes come from their site. Why? Because I’ve tried them and they’re good. Why change… perfectly good recipes? But may I say… they are more “common sense” recipes than crazy hard stuff to do. In any case… there you go. I choose the recipes to try. I like them. I publish them. This blog is about things I have to say and things I like (and dislike too).

Relationships are just like investment banking… When should we panic and withdraw everything?

So who are you betting on?

For many, being in a any sort of relationship can be both a mix of both happiness and disappointment. We’ve all been there. Even if each of us is difference, and each couple is unique… we all as humans show “patterns” of some sort. We are animals after all.

I’ll admit… I’m not the greatest fan of relationships. I’ve never had a very long one… and it’s probably because I am constantly disappointed by the people I meet. I know, that at some point someone will hurt me. So… being in a long term relationship… is like investment banking… you put so much in… and you are not sure you are getting everything you put in back, if it ends thats is. If it never ends… your stock can only go up. It may fluctuate… but it always goes up. At the end of some relationships… the pay out is pretty good. You finish friends, or the learning curve taught you something. But most of the time, you end up hating each other, and/or regretting everything (as well as forgetting the good parts… you only remember the bad parts!). Like poker, it’s wondering if you have good cards and betting big on the other person. Is this the person of my dreams? Is this worth my time? Etc etc.

Should you make an investment in ________ ? And when should we get the fuck out before we lose anything else?

Ah ha. This is the age-old question.

Some people are better at taking risks. Some people don’t take any. Some people take too many. And some people… well… they don’t have many opportunities!

Everyone will say that “communication if our best arm”… but there is such thing as knowing too much! (insider trading illegal anyone? Yeah ha!). Sometimes… you are blind… and this is when no one can help you, so you better bed over and kiss your ass goodbye, because you are going to lose big time.

Me on the other-hand… doesn’t take any risks… because I study the market too much… I’m watching peoples stock going up and down, and thinking too much… overanalysing everything… so I always finished last. I’m the modern 21st century Chandler Bing, and even he finished with a great girl, a great family, great job etc. I always find a great guy… and find out he has something weird up his hand. It’s always the good guys who are the really weird ones. The strange guys you see in the street are out and proud with their craziness. I… seem to attracted the crazies like flies to shit.

So when does one realise to take the plunge, put all their coins on one person and take the risk?

No amount of asking your friends opinions and looking on dating blogs is going to change a thing. Experience teaches us to take the bull by the horns and try. We all worry that we are going to be ridiculous or laughed at… but at least we are a bit closer to finding someone that the lazy couch potatoes who watch the shopping channel all day and masturbate to Dora the Explorer and Barney the dinosaure.

So… I guess, If everyone had a certain amount of chips during their lifetime, we better take a few chances, and not be afraid to lose from time to time.

Do or Die…

I know what you’re thinking. I’m overreacting (something I know I do pretty often). But I don’t believe that I’m wrong either. In fact. I’m right. 

Sure many of us have dreams, secret desires we sometimes don’t even admit to ourselves, but we all have them. I’ve had a few conversations lately with people who, on paper should be a hundred percent “I’m-so-fucking-happy-my-head-might-explode”; but aren’t. These people are insatiable (and I’m not talking sexually…). They are never satisfied with what they have. But they don’t have to. They are not wrong either. 

For an outsider looking in. I’m more than frustrated with these people. They nit-pick on things that are so not important that to be completely honest, I can’t help but imagine karate chopping their eye brows off… and maybe use nun-chucks on their chest for extra measure. But, they have a right not to be happy, because being unsatisfied is human. If we were 100% happy, most people wouldn’t move, evolve, but in fact would stay still in their little “happy-go-lucky” lifestyle… sitting still while life passed them by. But… these people are entitled to be… happy too (and maybe slightly boring). 

I have a friend, this person is finishing their degree, has a boyfriend, a nice flat, loving parents, friends who would eat off their right arm for them and is beautiful and a lovely person. And yet… they are constantly finding things to complain about. Why? 

Well… I have come to believe that progress comes through never being satisfied with what we have. Desire means… wanting something/someone that someone else has… we always want more. Without desire and hard-work, the USA wouldn’t be the great superpower we have now. It would still have a shitty train system (ok fine… it still has a shitty train system… but at least they have a nice roads). People would still be living on giant plantations in shacks growing cotton and corn. We would still have slavery… and thank fuck… democracy. America isn’t called the “land of opportunity” for nothing. It was build by people who wanted more, not only for themselves but for their descendants. 

We are still the same. So sure, my dream isn’t to have my own piece of land in Georgia and grow cabbage. It isn’t working for White Castle and it definitely isn’t being Miss France/UK. But even if I realise that my life is far than perfect, I still want more. 

Desire is like crack. Once you have some… you can’t help but want just a little bit more… 

Standing Still

That said, when I hear people complain about INSANE and RIDICULOUS things, I can’t help but wonder what the fuck they would do in my shoes. Most people took at the deal they were given, get back on that horse and try. Some people… just sit on their ass… complain and wonder why life is not that great for them. Sure, some people are dealt a really bad hand. Sure, having cancer, being hideous, being handicapped, growing up very poor… etc sucks. But if the cards you were given to start with aren’t great, you have to learn to reshuffle the cards, pick yourself up and try the fuck again. 

That’s why you have to “do or die”. It’s not just about “wanting”… it’s about trying. You might not get everything you wanted out of life, or do everything on that check list we all have at the back of our minds, but at least you try. You also have to take into account the sacrifices you have to make. Let’s take me as an example (not to sound narcissistic… but it would be rude to take someone else). 

Me = I have a degree in history (woo!). I have a family who are fuuuuuckkkinnnngggggg crazy (no really…), but I know that my parents would do anything for me. I have many friends, and a few I know would take a bullet for me. I’m not too hideous (I like to think?). I have enough money to do what I want. I’m not stupid. I am cultured and well travelled…. etc.

So you could say (superficially I realise because I haven’t exactly written very much here), that I should be happy. On most points I’m pretty lucky. But…  I have make sacrifices. I have lived in 3 countries, 5 towns.. and sure by moving around you make tons of friends… but you don’t have (if only rarely) long lasting relationships. So… if my social life, work life etc are great… my “boyfriend’ situation has suffered. Yes, yes I admit it… I have never been in a relationship that has lasted more than 6 months. But I don’t consider myself “unlucky”. A great relationship… is partly… chance (but that’s another issue). Do I complain? 

Fuck yeah I do. But I can. Because I have aspirations too. If I was totally happy with my life… I would be stagnant. I would stay still… unmoving… while everything changed around me. And no way do I want that to happen. If I didn’t “do” anything, I might not “die”. But life wouldn’t be that interesting. It probably should be “do or disappear” since dying is more permanent. So, stop complaining. DO. TRY. MOVE. SHAKE IT OUTTTTTTTTT!